Finn and Poe

Chapter 7- Finn

"What?" Did he say what I thought he said? Is this really happening?
"Well I'm not really in love with you" he says " I have certain feelings for you that I have been trying to hide and push away but not anymore." He's so serious and so vulnerable. He's actually saying it. Something I thought would never happen and something I thought was not going on in his head but only mine. Wait a minute. Did I just admit to myself that I like Poe too? What about Rose?
    "Poe, I'm speechless." And I am super speechless. I seriously have nothing to say except say that I have nothing to say in my head and to him. For god sakes, can my brain shut up?
     "I understand if you don't feel the same way." He says to me trying to rationalise this. I now feel like my speechlessness is wrecking him from the inside and I can see it. In his eyes as he says "I'm sorry I'm putting you in this situation. I just have been wanting to let you know for a long time." His voices starts to crack a little and I get up from my chair and started walking away from him. I opened the door and start to walk.
     My face is heating up and I feel tears steaming down my face. I'm crying and and then I start sobbing. I start run and run until I reached the hotel. I open the door and run to the elevator pressing the button with the arrow pointing up continuously, as if I need to get out of public sighting. The doors finally open, I enter and I press the floor number.
    The doors open once again and skid towards the hotel door, sliding the key card in, unlocking the door. I enter the room and head towards the bed and plop on it, sobbing into one of the pillows.
   
      A few minutes later, the door opens and it's Poe. Obviously. He is standing there as he watches me sobbing into the pillow. Open a bit of space inbetween my elbow and the pillow to see him. He looks so freaked out and I want to talk to him but I can't. I don't want him to see me like this. But he's already hearing me cry. Might as well get up and just look at him. Look at him. NOW.
      I do look at him and he looks pale. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to run off like that. I really don't know what happened. Running away seemed right at the time and I feel terrible." I say looking at his eyes while tears still stream down my cheeks and notice how his eyeballs were glistening as if he was tearing up. "Talk to me, please." He says and I tell him what I need to say. "I reacted because I've been feeling very flustered and frustrated lately. With Rey.... and then you ......... and then it was Rose ........and you." I say as more tears stream down my face and my throat starts to feel lumpy and I need to continue speaking so that he can understand. "I just feel guilty. Rose kissed me before she fell unconscious at the battle of Crait. I've been feeling like I need to be with her when she wakes up but she did not kiss me for nothing." I say as my voice starts to turn back to normal. " She kissed me for some reason. I don't know what for but there is a reason and I want to know what it is. Because if she likes me then I have to break her heart." This is the hard part, of course. The fact that I'm now going to admit it out loud and to him is just terrifying. I can feel heart beating out of my chest. I have to do this. "I have to break her heart because I like someone else." I say feeling a slight of relief.
    I'm looking down to my boots and Poe beside me says "It's Rey isn't it?" What? Oh no. He thinks I like Rey. Well I did but no. I turn towards him and lean and kiss him. I pull back looking at him and he kisses me back. This time, the kiss was deeper and addictive. I pull away and say "I don't want anyone but you." He looks at me softly. Our heads are two inches apart and I kiss him again. My hands trail up from his neck to his cup his face as his hands trail up from my hands to my fingers pulling them away from his face. He pulls away from the kiss. I thought I had done something wrong only until he decided to cup my face in his hands and kiss me again.
   The kisses go deeper and deeper as if we're pining for each other. As far as I knew, we were. We drop the rest of our bodies on the bed as I head towards the pillows while Poe follows above me. When we reach to the end of the bed, we kiss some more, only now we're more comfortable. He pressed his body against mine kissing me and I was hard. I've never felt a rush of feelings like that down there and apparently he was feeling the same way. As we kissed, I wondered what was going on his head. Was he thinking of going all the way or just doing playing it safe for the rest of the night?