Sanha

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♡You are not invisible, you are so rare that not everyone can have you


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You were awake, I know you were. But i kept my eyes close because I didn't want to face reality just yet. I didn't want to ruin the moment I had while you were in my arms, but i guess you did. Because you wiggled your way out of my hold and disappeared.

When I opened my eyes, you were gone and I was suddenly getting cold.

My bedroom door was open, meaning you went downstairs.

I smelt breakfast which also means that my mom was cooking, I also wasn't ready to answer questions from her.

"Sanha sweetheart, why didn't you tell me that Eunwoo was going to stay the night?" That was the first thing my mother said to me when i joined her and Eunwoo in the kitchen.

"It wasn't planned." Was the only thing i said to her as i set down beside Eunwoo at the table. Neither of us said a word as he ate the delicious pancakes my mom made.

All throughout the morning my mom made small talk with the boy next to me. Asking questions like: Have you been well? Hows your mom? Is your dad still working? Hows school? Still making good grades? Do you still play the piano.

I kind of dozed out of their conversation after a while and stared down at my plate of pancakes that only took one bite of and immediately felt sick.

I was doing better, I was, Its just that some times I have those days where i cant eat.

Eunwoo saw this and stared at me, worriedly. He probably knew what was wrong, he just didn't want to say anything.

I take a sip of my water and took deep breaths,

"Need a pill?" my mom asked, I just looked at her embarrassed and shook my head no.

Regardless of the fluids that wanted to come up, I continued to eat. I didn't want Eunwoo to think i still had a problem. I want him to believe that I am strong now. That I can be strong for the both of us now.

Because im partially at fault for the break up, i think so anyways.

Many people expect so much out of me and it's like they expect me to be perfect, when they don't even know that i am hurting.

I guess sometimes you never realize that you are actually drowning trying to be everyone elses anchor.

I've realized that i am a eccedentesiast. A person who hides pain behind a smile





This is going to get even sadder along the way. So, dont hate me.
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~Madi:)

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~Madi:)

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