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Sanha

♡I miss you in ways that not even words can uunderstand♡

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" Im sorry."  I said to Eunwoo as we sat in my room. We were sitting across from each other on the floor, making quite a distance between us. So he was on one end of the room and I was on the other. 

" I should be the one saying sorry Sanha." I shook my head at him and pulled my sleeves down to cover my white knuckles that were clenched.

"No. Don't make yourself believe that you're at fault. It takes to to argue."  We weren't making eye contact, I was staring at my blue cracked ceiling while he stared at my green carpet. 

"I tried so hard to be what you needed, but I guess I wasn't enough."  He was speaking lies, I knew it. Unless he truly isn't the same Eunwoo I fell in love with and actually believes the things he was telling me. 

Either way, I didn't like it.

"It took me a lot to not speak to you while we were apart."

"What changed your mind?" He asked and i took a deep breath before replying.

"I never missed anyone so much like i missed you. Your voice, smile, smell, hugs, lame jokes, your everything. Eunwoo, we were the same. We understood each other."

"Im scared. But its okay, being scared means that you're about to do something really brave."

"Why are you scared? Its just me," I tell him as I look away from the ceiling to his beautiful figure. He was crying, i knew it. Even though i could't see his face, i could see his shoulders shake as he sobbed quietly. 

"The betrayal, i cannot undo, what i've done i cant take back. And the saddest thing is about my regret. I cant forgive myself and you cant forget."

"What did you do?" He was scaring me. 

"Things that will hurt you, Sanha. Things that may make you hate me."

"I could never hate you baby." 

Why was he talking like this? What things has he done? 

"I push people away, that's been my thing this year. My mom is never home, my dad, well, he's drinking himself to death. And i never seem to be able to escape him." He finally looks up at me, his bruised cheek was slightly healed and the color of his shirt was drenched in tears. I want to crawl over there and take him into my arms. But were in a deep conversation and I didn't want to loose it.

"I cannot just let you give up on us, i wont allow it." I say seriously, he stares at me blankly and finally takes his angelic hands to his face to wipe the tears.

After a while he finally speaks, " Im sorry, for the times i left you to cry, for the times i lied to you, and every other reason that you're angry at me. I know my apology is a bit late, but its all i have right now. All i can do is promise you that in the future, if we still have a future. That I will always love you."

"I love you Eunwoo, and I don't want anyone to have your heart, so have me, for the rest of our lives." He began to cry again. 

He kept quite again, so I said, "I never ask for anything, but i only want two things in this messed up world. You and Us." He stared at me as he bit his bottom lip.

" I didn't mean to ruin everything," was all he said as jumped up from the floor and running out of my room. I was confused, but besides that thought. I ran after him, into a storm. 

Im getting sad.

~Madi:)