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Sanha

♡If you belong to each other
never give up♡

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"Why are you depressed?"

Was the question I've been asked for months now.

I dont know, maybe because at 4am i wake up and realize that i am alone. Maybe because this world is so cruel or maybe its because im so tired of living.

I tried not to think but it was useless, because silence was a killer too.

It's been five months Eunwoo. I honestly have no idea what to do right now, Jinjin and Mj have tried their best. But i think its useless.

Im sorry i couldn't save you my love. Im sorry i dissapointed you so many times, for making you feel alone. Letting you fight demons on your own. Im sorry you weren't save from your hell.

My war has begun again and I don't know if i can defeat it this time Eunwoo. I need your assistance, i need you to tell me that I will be okay and that you love me. Just one last time before everything dissapears.

You know you love someone when you cant hate them for breaking your heart into a million pieces, scattered across the universe.

Im getting wors and you probably dont even know, and sometimes i just need to be alone so i can cry without being judged. So i can think without being interrupted. So i don't bring anyone else down with me.

Is it finally my turn? My turn to let go.

Eunwoo, I want you to know that i am fine. That i am a son who is hiding their depression. Im the perfect brother by making a good inpression. Im a good friend acting like im fine. That I am well put together teenager trying to push my tears to the side. I use to be the boy sitting next to you in math, and im the one asking if you ever cared. Im your bestfriend, hoping you are there when i join you in heaven.

I dont hate you, i love you. But by loving you has been killing me for a long time and i think its time for me to say goodbye. Even if i don't want to, but i miss you.

I was in our hide out, remembering all the kisses and love making memories. I was crying and smiling at the same time.

I broke my own heart by holding onto you.

See you soon, baby.

I hate myself and im sorry i made you cry. This is the end, i hope you enjoyed. ❤

~Madi:)