"Moratorium" || l.m. ||

D - - 587

Log Entry # 1

So... Ummm, Hi?

How do I even start?

Well, ummm, why don't I start on how I decided to right a  entry in the first place.

I decided to start a log entry of my own when a 'close' friend of mine, I call her Eonnie, said that this was some sort of stress reliever.

And as you can probably guess,

I'm a woman experiencing alot of stress.

Three problems keep on bugging me, to be exact.

First of all, I'm so tired of basically just dancing and singing everyday. Training till my back hurts and my legs give in to gravity.

Like what is life even suppose to be?
I clearly don't have that.

Secondly, I swear to the Gods above that I am this near to killing an annoying bastard out of the blue.

At first he was chatting with me, texting me, and interacting with me in the hallways.

Damn, we were even going out on our usual 'hang-outs', that I assumed to be unofficial dates.

But I guess I shouldn't have 'assumed' everything about our relationship.

We were unofficial from the beginning and it still ended as unofficial.

What did I 'expect' anyway?

Would he have made things official if I asked him to?

Pfft, in my dreams, I guess.

Now the guy doesn't even acknowledge me when I look at him in the hallways. Or when I approach him first, he suddenly has to leave, like the hell on with him?

Right now you can probably hear my never-ending sighs through all these frustrations you read and I write.

I'm glad to bring this all out through this entry. I feel like a small part of my heart started to breathe again.

Guess this where I end my entry?

Oh wait... You guys are probably wondering what the third problem is when I only had two to share.

Well...

You all probably know what the third is.

I know 'you' guys know it, so it's a little bit unnecessary to say it,

But just to make sure...

I'll tell you...

Some other time...

Of the boy...

Who I love...

Can't love me back...

It was always Him and Him only.

There was no pick in between for
Me 'or' Me.

The 'universe' screamed out my destiny for me, and I realized...

It was just me as me.

There was 'no' him for me.

Just.
Me.

Why do you think I hate training these days, when I entered knowing what I'll go through in the first place?

Why do I approach him even if he refuses to see me?

Why do you think he started to avoid me anyway?

It's so simple...

I confessed.

He didn't feel the same.

And now,
how can I possible go on with this...

When inspiration decided to be a b*tch to me.

Take note that this isn't a question.

Because all the answers to my questions,

I already know.

I just didn't expect...

That the answers...

'given' to me..

Were all meant to be...

"just nothing."

- )@)>#@