"Moratorium" || l.m. ||

D - - 443

"Lisa... "

I took a deep breath after seeing him again.

Again?

When did I ever plan to see him again?

"Lisa... Is that really you? I'm not hallucinating, am I?"

No, you're not.

But I hope I was...

Why did I even come?

"Taehyung... Please go home now."

My eyes lurked around.

Now I remember why I'm here.

You're in danger, Taehyung.

It's watching us...

"I'm not going anywhere without talking about what happened between us."

Why are you so stubborn?

"Tae, I already left a note, did I not?"

His face fell.

I held in my breath as my stomach twisted with guilt.

I'm sorry for hurting you.

"You think I would be at peace after reading a letter that basically said goodbye?"

I gulped.

His eyes were glistening...

Sorrowfully.

Please don't cry infront of me.

It makes me even more guilty than I already am.

But...

"Then do you want me to say goodbye now?"

I have to become a monster for you...

"What?"

I had to hurt you...

"I don't have any feelings for you, Tae."

To slaughter your heart...

"But doesn't it bother you that I do?"

Taehyung gripped on both sides of my shoulders. "Look, I know we only met that time. But I know what I felt when we were on the bed, under the same roof. And right now, I'm still sure that what I feel for you is the same feeling I felt for you that night we shared."

Is he–

"Lisa, I love y--"

"But I don't, Tae! I don't!"

His grip tightened as my insides churned.

This is why I didn't want to face him.

"I don't love you."

I was always good at lying...

Though this time I wasn't...

Because I did love you that night...

But this night isn't the same as ours...

This night...

This night I was still inlove with a guy named Kim Hanbin.

For that one night, I wanted to thank you for loving me as I loved you.

Even for just a moment, I forgot about Kim Hanbin because of Kim Taehyung.

That night, I escaped my love for him, and showered my all for you.

But after everything... After the night was the day that ended my feelings for you.

I was so guilty for using you...

Because that night when we loved each other was before the day where only you loved me.

I know you're broken... Of course I know, I was the one that broke you.

I didn't mean to.

That's why I left.

Why do you keep waiting for me every night, Kim Taehyung?

You don't have to do that.

Don't allow yourself to be broken by a girl who is also broken.

I wanted to fix you, Tae, not break you.

I wanted to fix you then leave you...

Am I selfish or selfless for doing that?

"Okay, maybe you don't love me like I do now, but let me make you love me again like you loved me that night."

But you don't deserve a girl who can only love you for one night.

"I'm sorry..."

That night you changed, while I didn't.

While loving me, you fixed yourself,
but loving you, I bruised myself even more.

I don't need you to bruise me even more.

Hanbin already stabbed me, please don't reopen the unhealed wounds..

Don't treat them, thinking you're healing me when you're not.

I don't want you to hurt yourself while trying to fix a girl that Kim Hanbin once broke.

You don't deserve that.

They say opposites attract.

How can that happen when you want to fix me and I want to fix you?

You don't want to break me and I don't want to break you.

But we end up doing what we don't want to do to each other.

You hurt me and I hurt you.

We're the same, Tae.

So...

"Goodbye,...."

Even if you can't hear me.

I just want to say this to you in my thoughts, Tae.

Saying bye to you was never good.

But I had to anyways.

"Goodbye, Kim Taehyung."