Chaos 3| ✔

5|

|Nights.

°Pansophical°

Tired, stressed, worn out, anxious, completely drained and lonely, Blayne laid in the comfort of her tub, taking in the many bubbles that surrounded her nude body, as she leaned forward, both her arms extended out, hanging over it, her chin rested on the rim. She'd been eyeing the three bottles of Tylenol extra strength, Excedrin, and Advil that she'd placed on the sink prior to getting inside the tub.

The thought of taking a bunch caused heavy contemplation in her troubled mind, as she continued to eye the bottles.

I could easily take a bunch...Right now ...lay back, pray and then close my eyes Blayne thought.

The thought of dying actually sounded pretty cool at the current moment. She was already in the tub, had access to plenty of pills, and she was alone. Plus she'd never tried pills while in the tub before.

It'd be a beautiful death.

Take six....six of each.

Take em.

Take six.

Six.

Six.

Six.

Six.

The number kept replaying in Blayne's mind, to the point she had to close her eyes, and shake her head in an attempt to shut it out. Minutes fell past before Blayne decided to open her eyes again....slowly, her reddened eyes trailing right back to the sink.

Six.

"No" Blayne said aloud.

Staring at the bottles a few seconds longer, Blayne then leaned back, allowing herself to sink lower into her tub. She allowed the water to engulf her, leaning her head back, staring at her ceiling. Thousands of thoughts filled her head, from her mother, Steph, Joaquin, Brook, the rest of her family...and Rocky.

He filled it the most.

Everything from his smile, his style, his personality, his energy, his vibes, his truth, his mind his thoughts, his spirit. Blayne could admit that Rocky had opened up another side of her. A side that she hadn't even known was present inside her until he came along. Blayne believed in spirit ties, she believed in souls really connecting and staying within one another if they were truly matched.

No matter what.

She'd felt deep down that that was Rocky for her.

They were spiritually connected.

Their brains matched...their feelings, and their thoughts. She'd never connected with someone quite like Rocky, and deep inside she knew that she'd never connect in such a way with another.

Ever.

She'd missed him tremendously....even still. He'd invaded her thoughts, and her dreams. It seemed as though everything was crashing down...and it all started with Brook. When he passed on that's when the depression kicked in, which in turn led to the heavy dependence on pills, the suicidal thoughts, the self hate, and ultimately the alcohol. She was fighting so badly to knock the thought of downing all the pills that sat just a few feet away from her.

Right there.

These were the moments Blayne needed Rocky the most. He took her mind of such horrid and gruesome thoughts...everytime.