Late Thoughts

2/22/18 6:14p.m

To Brandon and Delia....

"I used to think I couldn't go a day without your guys  smiles without telling you things and hearing your voices back then that day arrived and it was so damn hard but the next was harder and I knew what the sinking feeling it was going to get worse and I wasn't going to be okay for very long time because losing you guys isn't an occasion or any event it doesn't just happen once it happens over and over again I lost you everytime I pick up your favorite coffee mugs whenever the one song plays on the radio or when I discover your old t-shirts at the bottom of the laundry pile I lose you every time I think of hugging you holding you or wanting you I go to bed at night and lose you when I wish I could tell you about my day and in the morning when I wake up and go towards for the empty silence in your rooms and begin to lose you all over again..... We thought you guys were happy we thought you were happy we must have all been blind we didn't know you're suffering we didn't know your mind you have left all our hearts aching and we are not sure how will cope if only you had talked it over we may have found you hope we thought you were guys were happy but your guys's mind was just a troubled mind hardly hitting a hint hardly a clue how could we been so blind you choose to go from this place and onto somewhere new may you find peace at last.... Our love goes with you too"

"I know you're in heaven,dancing and free but there's so much more you should be here to see so many things I never got to say because I never thought that you would go away I never told you because I thought that you knew but would that have changed, what you planned to do? I'm glad that you are free from your fears held inside but I wish you'd come to me, and put your pride aside.It's a lonelier  place, this world without you I guess that you thought this was all you could do,When I see you again I'll tell you that you were wrong,and how much I missed you, each day You've Been Gone"