A Message To Society

Friends

I switched schools in October, leaving my best friend (also only friend, to be honest)  of 10 years and the private school district I've become accustomed to, for a public school in the middle of the year. I met some friends almost instantly, and have since seemed to grow away from my old friend. We use to have the weirdest conversations for hours on end, but we barely talk anymore. I miss it. I miss her. We've been through lots of shit together, like when we both came out on her Snapchat account, or the sixth grade as a whole, which was a mess that I'd rather forget. We use to do everything together, and were practically inseparable at school. I can hardly hold a conversation with her anymore. She doesn't seem to care really. I know she's going through some really tough shit right now, I really wish she'd talk to me more often though. I've found jealousy fill me over the years. In elementary school, neither of us were very popular and it was us against the world. That was when we were inseparable. In junior high, I don't know if I was jelous of her or other people. She had so many more friends than me and started talking to me less. Maybe I was jelous of other people. She got some really close friends pretty quickly, that I, to this day, am super awkward around and can't hold a proper conversation.
My new friends are amazing, don't get me wrong. It's just I came in in the middle of the eighth grade. They had known each other so long and there are only a couple people I actually talk to. Most people at my new school just ignore me, which I can't decide whether that's a step up from my last school or not. I just can't seem to fit in. I'm not as close with anyone as they are with each other. With what's going on with my other friend, I'm kind of alone. Like I said, they're awesome. I just... I don't know. I'm not really close with anyone in a few months. I don't know.