A Message To Society

Dear Bully

       Remeber me? I'm sure you do, we went to school together only a year ago. I wish I could see you again. I have so many things bottled up from the 10 years of torment. So many thoughts and so much anger towards you that I have no way to get out. But in all honesty, if I saw you again, I would freeze. I wouldn't know what to do. I certainly wouldn't say anything. I've known you since pre-school. You took a place that was suppose to be a safe place for me to grow and learn, and you made me never want to go.           
  
     I love learning and under most circumstances I would have loved school. But you. You ruined that place for me.

       Remember sixth grade when I was always gone? It was because I couldn't stand the thought of going to school. Remember seventh and eighth grade when I always wore a jacket? It was because I was cutting at my arms because I started to believe what you and everyone else said about me. Remember when I left school for a week and never came back? I had a suicide attempt and went to behavioral health. Once they were going to discharge me, the thought of going back to O'Gorman made me try to kill myself again.
      
       I distinctly remember a moment in first grade on my birthday. We had cubbies next to each other since our last names are so similar. You said something to me that I can't remember for the life of me. I responded by telling you that not even you could make me sad on my birthday. I was so sure of it I thought I was right. I was wrong. It wasn't even what you said, I could have gone on a whole rant then and there about how stupid it was. It was what happened after. You laughing at me. That was what ruined that moment for me. That moment where, in my mind, I stood up to you, and you laughed.
      
       Gym class was the worst. I excelled in the classroom, but I was shit at PE. You were so much better than me, and I was constantly reminded of that. I've never been athletically inclined, and to be honest you could have beaten me in a fight any day. You could have me on the ground in seconds. You never did though, I'll least give you that. There was one day we were playing volleyball, one of my person least favorites, and the other team was whispering about me. Nobody told me what was said about me and to this day I have no clue. All I know is that that team was talked to after class for what was being said.
     
       There were so moments were it seemed the entire class got along. I always felt out of place during those moments. Like a stranger at a family reunion.
      
       I wish I could say that I've long forgotten about you since switching schools, but that would be a lie. Honestly Leo, I'll always remember you. I'll always remember what you did to me. It's something I'll never forget or forgive, even though I'm sure you'll soon forget about me and I'll be but a distant memory in the hallways of OG. 
     
       Since leaving, I've changed from the person you thought you knew. I've become unapologetically myself. I stand up for myself and don't let anyone treat me the way you did. I've gotten much better at my classes. I participate more, get better grades, and show what I know and what I'm good at. Although I sometimes wonder if I could have been like this sooner if it weren't for you, or if I just needed a fresh start.

Sincerely,
An old friend