Speechless

Chapter Seventeen

I walk into Jason's and my room and call out his name, "Jason?" I call. I see him resting on his bed with his legs crossed, sitting upright. He doesn't even look up at me.

"Hey," he says softly. I can tell he's been crying, or at least sobbing a little. I go and sit at the foot of his bed and he finally looks up at me with a dark, empty stare.

"You have to listen to me, Jason," I say.

"Why?" He asks. "Why should I believe you? Why should-"

"Because I love you!" I interrupt loud and assertively. He leans his head back slightly, surprised at what I said and how I said it. He stays quiet, so I finish what I have to say, "I need you Jason. You said you loved me, and I loved you. You can't just un-love someone so fast, Jason. I know you cared about me, I know you loved me, it's harder than that to get over what we had." I finish.

"I never said I stopped loving you," he says as he gets off the bed and walks toward the window.

"Well that's the impression you're giving off," I say sternly, still sitting on the bed

"I'm mad, Aubrey. I will never in my whole life, even if I become a Gone, stop loving you. I will always love you so much it's insane. But I'm so, so angry. I want to believe you, I should believe you, but I don't. I should trust you that Libby is lying, but I don't. I don't fully believe Libby though, trust me, but I don't fully believe you, either," he says.

"But you should believe me!" I shout.

"Damn it, Aubrey!" He screams, pounding his fist against the wall. "That's what I just said! I want more than anything to believe you but I just can't. Don't you get that? I love you, but I for some reason don't believe you! I don't know why! Trust me! I don't!" He shouts so loud I back up onto the bed fully, pulling my legs onto the bed as well. He turns to face the wall and lifts his hands over his head and forms a fist with them. He leans his forehead against the wall and pounds his fists against the wall as hard as he can, shaking part of the Sanctuary. "This is so messed up! You're probably telling the truth and I'm just the jackass that's being so idiotic that I don't trust you! I need to believe you! But I need proof too! If you're lying I will never trust you again! Do you understand that, Aubrey? If you're lying we are done!" He finishes. He's breathing heavy and keeping his fists above his head against the wall.

"Jason," I whisper just loud enough for him to hear. He turns only his head around and looks at me without removing his angry, insane look on his face. "Stop. Please. You're scaring me," I whisper between breaths. He closes his eyes and softens his expression. I see him breath out with regret and he stands up, gazing out the window. He rests his hands on the frame of the window and I slowly stand up.

"There's no happy ending, is there?" He asks.

"There never was going to be one in the first place," I say calmly.

"Yeah," he says. "I know,"

"But we can try to create one," I suggest. He turns around to me and sits on the edge of the window, crossing his arms.

"What?" He asks. I walk over to him and grab his hands into mine and look at them, together again. It's been so long since they've touched.

"How about we put our happy ending in the middle of our story," I whisper under my breath. He grabs ahold of me abruptly and hugs me tight, so I release our hands quickly and hug him.

"Sounds like a plan," he whispers into my hair. I close my eyes and enjoy this moment, because I know it won't last forever.

This is our happy ending, but we still have much more to go through together. I've learned the happy ending doesn't always have to be placed at the resolution of the story, it can be placed dead center of it.