Speechless

Chapter Twenty

"No!" I cry as I turn from Libby to Jason. The tears come within the snap of a finger and I rush to Jason's side. "Shh, Jason, breath, shh," I attempt to comfort him. He was coughing and even struggling with that task. I turn back to Libby while I hold Jason's head in my hands. "What have you done?" I ask between breaths. "What have you done?" I scream.

"I'll be right back, just keep him alive," Libby instructs while she runs off down the hall and turns a corner. I focus my attention back on Jason while he lays there, slowly dying. I see his chest heave in and out, trying with all of his might to stay while his body shuts down. I lay down so my head is next to his and our body's are parallel to one another. He finds my hand and he rests his head on mine, messing both of our hair up. He turns and looks at me and I look at him.

"Will you miss me? Will you miss me my beautiful Aubrey?" Jason asks weakly.

"I would, but you're not going to die today," I reassure.

"I've accepted this, so I ask for you to accept this as well. Please, for me." He begs. I nod slightly.

"Alright," I start. "If that's what you want."

"It is," he says. "But I also want you to tell me what hope is left in the world, what love is left," he requests.

"There's nothing left," I whisper.

"Yes," he says. He pauses to cough. "Yes there is. So tell me what there is left," he asks again. I take a deep breath and clear my throat to remove the lump from it.

"Well," I begin. "There's the cure that may work, there's the hope that Jim is still out there and I won't be alone if the cure works, there's the hope that civilization will return, umm," I stutter.

"How about love?" He asks.

"There is none, none without you," I say.

"Try a little harder," Jason urges. I think for a brief moment, not wanting to let the time slip away. I can't lose Jason, I won't do it. But then I come to a realization and I think it's the answer Jason is wanting to hear.

"You're my love," I say. "My parents are gone and Jim is too, most likely, and I loved them but you're different. You're apart of me, so therefore, as long as I'm here and alive I will always be with you and I will never forget you. You will forever remain part of me and my heart," I answer. I see him give a weak smile with a nod. I see a tear roll down his face and since we are laying on our backs the tears rolls down to his ear.

"I suppose that qualifies as hope too, because I mean, without hope and love, what's left?" He asks with a smile. That smile. Even when he's dying, he still has that smile that I fell in love with.

"Sometimes our love is our hope," I add.

"I love you so much, Aubrey," he says.

"I love you, too, Jason." I say back.

I've never seen someone die. Well, I have, but I've never seen the full process of one's death. I see the dead a lot now, not The Gone, because I've learned that they are not dead until people kill them. but this time I see the whole process. I feel Jason's body go cold as the blood stops running through his veins and his heart stops beating. I feel his death as much as he does.

I will never forget that feeling.

"Jason?" I whisper as I sit up. I see blood trickle down his cheek from his mouth to his ear just like the tear a few seconds ago. "Jason!" I scream. I begin to sob, then to cry, then to scream. "Why?" I ask to no one while I sob. "Why him?" I ask again. Only I would know what I said because it was so difficult to make out to my own ears, all you can hear are the sobs. I hear running footsteps behind me and turn to see Libby. "You!" I scream as I stand up fully from my knees. "You murdered him!" I scream again. I already feel my throat becoming sore.