Colored In - (got7)

trainee :: jackson [3]

Kisses. Sweet kisses on my lips.

I can't help but smile in them as it flutters my heart and tickles my insides. My back hits the door as Jackson chuckles and kisses my lips teasingly. Gosh I love this boy. I love how he makes me feel like I'm on air. He kisses me once more before letting go and planting a kiss to my forehead.

"Good Night, babygirl!" He winks at me which drives me crazy.

"Good Night, Jackson! Dream of me okay!"

He laughs and shakes his head, "Why dream when you've become my beautiful reality?"

My eyes widen as I feel my cheeks heat up from his sweet words. He squeals, fanboying over his own words knowing how goals he just sounded right there.

"Boy you can't even handle yourself!!"

"HAHAHA YEEEE!!!" He says as he skips down the hallway, leaving me laughing by my dorm door.

I take a breath to calm myself down and enter the dorm room. I share a room with 3 other trainee girls, so there's 2 bunk beds in a rather medium sized room. The girls were all there and they looked at me with dirty looks, as usual when I walked in. Luckily I auditioned to be a soloist, not in a group. Because I really hope that if a group pairing comes up, I'm not put with my roommates.

I ignore their silent, cold glances and I go over and plug in my dying phone into the charger. They then continue their conversation I must've interrupted, as I go and sit on my bed to read up on my Korean language notes. As I sit and study, their conversation changes, and they talk about me. It's in Korean, so I understand only a few sentences that they'll say. And they say some pretty uncool stuff...

And once again, the confidence that Jackson always brings up, falls back into the pit of my stomach like it does every night. They laugh over their own conversation and then get quiet again. I try not to let what they say get to me and try to focus on the notes written in my notebook. Hye Rin, one of the girls, sits down next to me on my bed. She smiles at me which looked hella fake to me.

"How was practice today?" She asks me in English.

Out of the three, she spoke the best English, but she used it to be a bitch.I look up at her and bite my lip, wondering if my words even mattered at this point.

"Oh, uh...good."

"Have you finished your choreography?"

I sigh and run a finger through my natural thick black curls, "No."

The other girls gasp and she shakes her head disapprovingly.

"Aish, no can do! You're behind, but what's new? I've finished mine already, on my 12th one now!" She bragged proudly.

Of course she's ahead of me, of us, she's been a trainee for a year now.

I look back down at my notebook trying to ignore her and just focus on the vocabulary on the page, "Good to know.."

"You're a slow trainee. Why'd you even audition!!"

I drop my pen at those words as the girls start laughing at me.

Annddd here it comes..

"What does Jackson even see in that pathetic trainee anyways??" KyungJu asks in Korean and I understood every word of it.

They laugh again and I close my book, unable to focus on studying anymore.

"Right! He's just being nice to her since she's not from, these parts."

By 'these parts' I'm 100% sure she meant Asia. I ball up my fists in anger, sick and tired of hearing that bullshit.

"You're all wrong!! Jackson actually loves me! And I actually love him too! Don't judge a book by its cover!" I spat at them and they all get taken aback for a few.

"That saying is only for published books. You haven't debuted yet. Therefore we can say whatever the hell we want!"

"You haven't debuted either! Not with that attitude!"

Then SMACK, she slaps me across the face, stinging my cheeks, and triggering tears to fall down my face.

"Listen here you colored bitch. You're not meant to be a Kpop star. Korea doesn't need girls like you. You should also get your head out of the damn clouds because Jackson, is only being nice to you. Just like he is with every other girl he talks to. You're no different. He doesn't like girls like you anyways. You stand in his way. He's already a Kpop Star, he doesn't have time for you. And Neither. Should. You. Have a good night, Charae."

The girls laugh and they turn off the lights, getting into their beds. They leave me, in tears under my covers.

Why do I have to cry myself to sleep every night?