Nobody | V.N Y.K - Discontinued

27

viktor didn't waste a second.

as soon as he stepped in, and his eye casted to the note and open window, he practically flew, sticking his head out to see if he could still be in sight. there was no boy to be seen.

viktor ran a hand through his hair, taking a step back, before he began to cry harder, picking up the note.

his splotchy eyes read through it, and every word, every sentence every syllable tore his heart apart until he just couldn't handle it anymore. he screamed, and although he felt as though he were a child, he ripped the note up to shreds, running out of that room and up to the front door.

"i'll be back, makka," he croaked, sniffling as he pushed his shoes on. "and so will yuuri."

he gave his dog a pat on the head, before he ran out, slamming the car door behind him and skidding down the street.

it was either the bridge or that apartment. one of the two, but all viktor knew was that he was checking that damned bridge first.

his tires squealed as he ran through a red light, angry drivers honking at him, but he couldn't care less.

he wouldn't lose yuuri.

he couldn't lose yuuri.

he may not see him in the light that he was sure the raven saw him in, but he cared about him. he needed him, god he loved him, and if it's platonic then so be it; he just needed to make sure he got home safely. because home was in his arms.

viktor blushed. why did he like holding him so much?

it just felt right.

his body shifted as he flew around the turn to the bridge, and as soon as his eyes fell on the skinny figure stood in front of the rail, he knew he had to be careful. he stopped the car there, not wanting to frighten the boy into jumping, before getting out quietly and walking closer.

luckily yuuri hadn't seen him yet, he was still at a decent distance away. but even from here he could tell that yuuri was crying, he was crying so hard because all he wanted was for something to turn out right. because all he wanted was to just be a normal kid.

he could hardly even speak to strangers without flinching. pathetic, right?

yuuri clutched the shirt he was wearing tightly in his hand; it was viktor's. it was so comfortable, so homely, that the boy almost didn't want to disrespect it by bringing it down with him; so he slowly stripped it off, holding it gently in his hands. his skin burned in the cold.

viktor stared at him from afar, and although he tried to fight it, red arose to his cheeks. why was this flustering him? now was not the time for this.

yuuri clutched onto the shirt tighter, before he smiled sadly, dropping it to the concrete in front of him. he stared down at it with a chapped smile and teary eyes as he wished for viktor to one day find it.

then he looked up, and for a second, he felt at ease. the wind was hitting his chest, hitting his skin and although he normally would never have taken any article of clothing off outside, he was happy he did. he didn't want to feel as if viktor was going down with him.

yuuri smiled. ah, viktor.

he thought of his smile, he thought of his dimples and his cute, yet loud laugh. he thought of viktor, and suddenly he was at ease.

that didn't last long, though.

he began to then think of all the reasons he was here, the reason he had ruined it. all for a first kiss? all because it felt so good it made his head spin? all because he loved him?

this wasn't fair.

how come some people could live such beautiful lives while others were forced to suffer? yuuri hadn't done anything. he hadn't ever done such a thing that could make him deserve such a harsh fate.

he almost wanted to scream, louder than he'd ever screamed before, because he was angry. he was tired, he was frustrated, and he wanted to feel good. he wanted to feel something, other than this constant suffering.

and if that meant jumping into this goddamn river and never coming back up, then so be it.

sure, maybe at first there'd be pain. he wouldn't be able to breathe and his head would pound because his lungs yearned for oxygen but that was only the beginning. he would feel so much more after it all ended, yet he wouldn't feel a single thing at all. but that was by far better than what he was feeling now.

his hands shook, but not in fear, no, now it was excitement. he knew he was going insane, because he was thrilled to feel something. he was thrilled to drown himself, and he was too high on that feeling to even realize that deep down, he was truly terrified. that maybe deep, deep down, he didn't want to do this.

he couldn't care less now, though.

yuuri put a leg over the railing, he eyes wide in anticipation. and just as he was about to jump, he stopped, his eyes glancing down to his wrist.

his vision washed over all the scars, all the torn up skin, all the times he'd promised himself that this wasn't the end. that he was stronger than suicide, that he could make it through it.

he couldn't anymore. so he looked to the sky, and he bit his lip, closing his eyes.

"i'm sorry mama," he whispered, beginning to cry. "i'm so sorry i couldn't live for you."

he wanted to jump so bad, he wanted to end it all, but he just needed one more second, one more second to speak to his mother. because even though she hadn't accepted him for his sexuality, he loved her. he missed her. he deserved better, but he didn't care. he just wanted her.

"i love you mama," he whispered, before he sobbed, tearing his heart into shreds. he couldn't handle another second.

he pushed himself off, but not before he was pulled back, warm arms encasing his waist and a fragile kiss to the side of his head.

"don't leave me."

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oH fUcK
h a h a