Stigma #3 » k.th ✓

eight

I knew it’d turn out like this. Well, actually, I don’t, but I felt it—somehow. God, I feel like those annoying brothers little girls would complain being too protective and bossy and the like. But we did have an arrangement before; no dating until graduation. Otherwise, my plan for her future will be ruined. And yet here I am, staring off into the abyss, busy kicking off the rock I picked up on my strolling on school grounds.

“Taehyung,” I turn around at the sound of my name. Lisa wouldn’t have been on my list of guesses for calling me by my first name despite our plan to keep our relationship a secret. She stood there, gripping on tight to her bag as she stomped her way towards me. “we need to talk.”

And we did. Inside the gym, where strangers where playing basketball for fun. I could do so much better than them, in fact, maybe even teach them some of the winning moves I know and found out. Anywhere seemed fine, including this place, even when there are players here who could possibly overhear our conversation. At this moment, though, Lisa didn’t care.

“How could you do that?”

"Look, I'm just protecting you as your big brother, OK? You’re a scholar, alright? You need to maintain high grades so you can continue studying in this school without the need to pay off your tuition."

“Jimin is just my friend. Nothing more.”

"Jimin? Wow. First name basis already? You two just met twice at that."

"Who cares? We just strolled around the school earlier, asking questions to get to know each other and— I had fun with him."

I bit my tongue, closing my eyes shut. I was starting to think that maybe I am going too hard on her on this whole being with Jimin thing. I did say she could be friends with someone. "He understands me and we may be awkward together, but I really, really like for us to be closer friends."

“Why are you so pressed on about him, anyway? Is he your enemy or something?” The widened eyes on her face said it all—enraged, hurt and utterly clueless as to why I told her to avoid him.

"Jimin is my best friend, OK? It's not that I’d find it awkward if you two ever date, in fact, he’d be my first pick for you..." I scratch the back of my head, feeling a bit embarrassed to open up to her. "I just want you to commit to the program. We won't have any money if you lose that scholarship."

"What makes you so sure I like Jimin that way? I don't." She seemed calm and collected now, rubbing herself on the arm while looking away, guilty of the shouting she had made before. "I'm sorry for misunderstanding."

"I'm sorry, too." I still won't be able to simply trust her with him. I took a step forward, catiously patting her on the head for ‘good luck’ and ‘take care’ from her big brother. "Fine. I guess you can be friends with him, but promise me, if you plan on going out with him, let me know first."

"I will!" Lisa perked up, which made me feel better. "Wait, though. If he’s your best friend, does that mean he knows our situation. . ?"

I shake my head, placing my hands on her shoulders so I could check up on her, crouching down to her sight level. "He shouldn't find out about us, OK? I'll make sure to tell him when the time is right."

"When would that be?"

"When I trust him."

♠

Hands tucked inside my pockets, my bag and Lisa’s slung over my shoulder as I took her to her dormitory. "I'll be sleeping for the whole day since it's just day one. Are you sure you don't want me to come with you to work? I want to make sure it's a decent part-time one." She pouted stubbornly. I remembered her telling me the reason why she wanted to come the previous time; to help me at work. That meant applying. I had already told her 'no', and that she just needs to promise me she graduates on time.

"You just rest there. I'll go to the mall by myself. I can handle it." I wave goodbye without going near her, even though I was used to saying goodbye by kissing her on the forehead or giving her a tight hug. Another week needs to go by before I can talk to her like this again. To be honest, what she did, approaching me out in the open like that, it was quite dangerous and risky already.

That's why I sent her a text to tell her she should do it more discreetly next time, or talk to me through her phone, instead.

This is really hard to do, but family means making sacrifices to protect each other.

"One strawberry dutch in a cone, please!" Duty calls. I immediately turned my back from the counter to fetch the cone and make the ice-cream, making random swirls to make it appear presentative and neat; something to drool on when you see it. Once it was done, I carefully handed it to the old lady after getting paid. "Thank you, kind man."

I give her a simple smile as I accepted her pay. That made me turn my back from the booth to fix the hat I’m being forced to wear to work.

“Hey, Kim, want to take a break?”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. It’s my first week, I'll need all the days I can work overtime.”

“You must be in a heep of debt, I presume?”

“No, I just need it for my tuition.”

It’s a good thing I have someone like him as my main boss; he seems understanding and somewhat ‘proud’ to have me as one of his employees.

"Good," With that, he left with a wave to take my break as his own.

"Cookies and cream available?" I turn to greet the next customer, only to realize it was the same girl I had talked to before at the party. She smiled ever so softly at me, or at least I thought she was. It was gone before I could say anything to her regarding her preferred flavor. “Am I actually talking to someone here?”

"Oh, right, sorry." With that, I went back to work, my mind is set to find the flavor by its colors in its containers by the counter. Once I did, the scooper was out and it went straight to the cone she asked for. "Here."

"Thanks." She casually lifted her hand to reach for it and before I knew it, she laid a few tips by the jar placed beside me. Then walked away as if nothing had happened, as if she didn’t know me.

"Hey, we talked at a party, remember?"

"Sorry, doesn't ring a bell."

Well, that was odd. I'm pretty sure she is that girl, the one in charge with the punch. Is she ignoring me or something? Am I suddenly annoying? Oh, good Lord. She must’ve found out about my rumors. But then again, she would’ve been more flirtatious towards me—what if she’s actually disgusted about that?

For crying out loud, Taehyung, stop talking to yourself and just focus on your work!

♠

posted MAR 14 2018