Stigma #3 » k.th ✓

nine

I don't know whether I should focus more on studying or worry about Lisa; I don't know which one I should start with, really. It's got me confused. Not to mention how that girl treated me like we never met. Not that she had a huge impact on me-OK, maybe she did. That's the point. I couldn't get it out of my head, that scene.

"Hey, do you have another piece of paper?" Yoongi tapped on the table as he waited for my response.

"Oh, I do. But don't you have like, a whole notebook brought today?"

"It's not for lectures..." He averted his gaze from me to softly caress the said notebook. It seemed important to him. Maybe it's some kind of journal or something. So I let it be, taking a page from mine, instead and handing it over to him.

"Thanks." He said subtly and started scribbling the discussion down.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"You gonna ask me to pay the paper now?" He chuckled lightly, biting on his pen's tail.

"No, there's this girl-"

"Here we go." Yoongi took a deep breath before he left the paper under his notebook to listen to me. He kept tapping the ballpoint pen in his hand, some sort of distraction while talking. "What about her? Is she on campus or your mother?"

"She's a member of the student council. The thing is, I met her at the party they threw for us. And then she sees me outside of school-it's entirely impossible she doesn't remember me, since it was quite a conversation we had-and just stared at me, treated me like I'm just the employee who serves her ice-cream." I could never forget the expression she had on her face that time.

"I think you should just lay off. That girl may be one of those popular girls who don't like staying with people who aren't."

"There are still people like that in College?"

"Yeah. And you'd think they'd be extinct and stay in high school. Am I right?" The table vibrated along with his phone, indicating a popped up message on the screen. "Speaking of girls, I have to go to mine. See you around."

"But we're still in the middle of-" I turn my head up front, only to see our professor tidying up things on his table. "Oh." Yoongi was also already gone by the time I turned to face him. With that, I stood up, grabbing my bag tightly on my shoulder and decided to buy something from the cafeteria before I go home by the bus.

"One cheeseburger and sprite, please." I wait patiently while the guy serving me struggled to reheating the burger I wanted. I knew the feeling and I wanted him to feel at ease since it's going to help him in the future if he still works here. Once he had already handed my order, I take a big bite out of it and sat by the nearest table I could get my hands on. The bus doesn't leave for another 30 minutes, so I take my time, being alone and all.

That's when I saw her.

She was laughing along with some of her friends, meanwhile I stayed in place, sulking a bit, trying to contemplate why she would brush me off like that.

What does it matter, anyway? We just met at that stupid party.

There was a split second that she and I connected-that single stare she and I shared and then I was off to the bus after hearing its honking.

I came inside it and sat at the second to the last two seats at the back, of course, choosing the window. No one would even dare try to sit next to me, knowing my little old reputation, as the rumors spread across this school. Nothing can go wrong as long as I don't say or do anything that can grant them satisfaction.

Or so I assumed.

That girl sat beside me like there was nothing wrong with it. Deep inside, I felt confused and overwhelmed in this situation. First, she tried flirting and being friendly with me, and then she said we're just strangers and now, this? What could she possibly want?

"Nobody's sitting here, right?"

I simply shook my head as an answer. She nodded back, "Good." Then drifted off to sleep while leaning her head against the chair.

What's confusing is there are still a couple of empty seats around us and she chose to sit beside me. If she wanted to ignore me, then she should've sat somewhere else.

Best to forget this whole scenario and just find other stuff for distraction.

She was still dozing off. I wasn't anywhere near my place yet. But still, the difference is: her head fell on my shoulder. Naturally, I should make her feel comfortable enough to sleep on it. So I tried adjusting my height to hers and made sure she felt something hard to lean on.

Sometimes I feel stupid in the things I do for someone else.

"..anyone from here?"

She immediately jolted awake and grabbed her stuff, rushing off the bus without even saying goodbye. How come she knows it was already her stop? She didn't even look out the window.

I'm awfully overthinking every situation coming to mind.

"The Boys' Dormitory stop."

I went down the bus as I got my keys from my pockets. Why do I live all the way out here while Lisa is staying luxuriously inside the school? Well, the school and I had a deal, like I said. And besides, I think the school had said it well enough. Boys and girls should live apart from each other. I speak for every guy in here when I say, we are not animals.

"Hey, Taehyung, back already?" That was my roommate, Kim San Ha. He's a sophomore in our university and is taking Psychology, I think.

"Yeah." He was the friendliest guy I have ever met. If we were to share one bed, I'd be cool with it. It's almost been a week since we first met and first moved here, but that's how close we'd already become. First time I met him, I thought he was some kind of playboy who toys with women. I hope not.

"Met any girls yet?"

"I did. At that party."

"Whoa, you actually went to that?"

"Yeah. It was fine. I met one of the student council members-"

"Bad move."

"What, why? Why is that a bad move? I mean, she could've been anyone helping out in decorating the party."

"Nah, are you talking about the one with the black hair or the brown-haired one?"

Of course he would know. "She had brown hair with the curls at the end of them. Why, what's wrong with them?"

"You won't get a chance with her, I'm telling you."

"How come you know her already?"

"Tried hooking up. Failed."

"I just want to befriend her, not- anything related to dating."

"Sure, that's what we say at first. But if you fall for her, you're in deep trouble." He didn't say much after declaring that. Considering the fact he's always been the chatty type of person. "Anyway, if you're fine with a difficult woman, be my guest."

♠

posted MAR 27 2018