Stigma #3 » k.th ✓

twenty eight

I found out today was the auditions. I'm unsure as to how I can handle watching them without imagining the two of them at that beach house.

I found myself simply concentrating in my new classes instead. To get rid of those thoughts. Lisa is matured and she can handle herself. I can trust her. Or maybe I should've. Or else this wouldn't have happened.

I keep forgetting Yoongi-hyung and I are not in the same classroom every now and then. Nobody to approach to, any of my classmates. They had their own group of friends and I merely realized now how lonely I was. I had no one.

I never got to ask for Hyung's number, either. Ahh, this week’s been pretty much the pettiest. This has taken a huge turn from me. Did I do something so bad I deserve this without knowing it?

For once, I get a day off from school at least on Tuesday’s. That’s tomorrow. I won’t be seeing Lisa until then. Unfortunately, it's the end of the day and I couldn't bring myself to watch the auditions. Not in this condition whereas we're not getting along . . .

Meanwhile, my time's free, so I went straight home to my dorm where, after a long while, I saw Sanha in. He was packing his stuff and smiled as if we hadn't seen in other for long.

"Why are you packing?" Did he forget to pay rent again? Sometimes landlords can be demanding and misunderstood us for forgetting or skipping to pay when in actual fact, we're not like that. Payday only happens to be in the middle of each month and rent pay comes at the start  of each. We all have our own budget list to look after, too. "I can help you if it's rent money. I'm sure I can talk to the landlord.."

Sanha laughs a bit. "Still sweet little Tae," he zips his bag closed and sat on the bed. "I appreciate it, but I'm not getting kicked out. I'm moving somewhere far away. . ."

"Are you running from your parents?" He may have been open with a lot of things, especially his romantic tastes, but I have never heard of him complaining or ranting about his parents before. Maybe that's not the case, either.

"I dropped out of school."

"What, why?" This is too risky even for someone like him who keeps living on the edge of life.

"I don't want to finish my life as a teenager just yet. After graduation and getting that college degree, we move on with our lives and get jobs that'll suck the life out of us." True that. But still, I don't get why, though. "I’m going somewhere and live with my girlfriend for now."

"You didn't get her pregnant, did you?"

He shakes his head, "No, Tae, now will you stop worrying?" only then did I manage to calm down for him. "I'm doing this for myself, no one else. I want to lay low. My parents approved of this plan. As long as I do graduate. And besides, why do we have to stick what society is used to doing? Where's the genuine fun in that?"

"I don't know. Maybe you could've done this after graduation? You could still take this break then.."

Knowing him, nobody can change his mind or way of dealing things over a concerned friend. Of course. Nobody likes having their destiny controlled or disrupted. I wouldn't want to be the guy that gets in the middle of it. As a token of our friendship, I hugged it out with him. He looked pleased, slinging his bag over his shoulder and taking his cap in the middle of it. I went to see him take off from the doorstep before he climbed onto the next bus.

Now I'm really all alone.

♠️

Unbelievably huge amount of studying took the wheel and all of my free time for this course. But it's never come to a point where I'd want to give this all up. I still want a better future for Lisa and me. I need this. I want this.