Fatigué ➳ jjk+kth

vi

When this moment is done, would it be like fantasy?
- Butterfly

silence.

it's deafening.

you returned home from work today, early.

i had nearly shouted in joy at the muffled sound of a TV blaring.

your eyes are glued to the screen of your phone, lips curved upwards.

a short laugh slips from your mouth, eyes twinkling in joy.

i yearn to be the reason for such a blessing sound.

we're sitting at the dinner table, a bowl of cold ramen before us.

you haven't spoken to me once, grunts being your way of communication.

the air around is stifling, pressing against us.

i want to speak but the words are lodged in my throat, refusing to vocalise themselves.

you never once meet my eyes, attention solely focused on the darkened screen.

i want to rip away the device that sits in your palm, drawing your love from mine.

it takes me half an hour to muster the courage to choke out a offer of hot coca, bundles of blankets and a movie.

you still do not look up, slender fingers dancing across the scene.

I repeat my words, voice cracking with every second that passes by, the air around us tense.

it's foolish of me.

to have such high hopes.

but even when you throw me an emotionless expression, lips flattened into a thin line as you mutter your excuse, the pain of a thousands knives digging into my gut never ceases.

"jimin said he needs me."

i need you too.