The Slash Stories

Pain Heals (OMC x Ichigo)

Sorry it took so long for this one. My classes are pretty much over so I'm hoping to write and publish more works. Be warned, this story could be trigering to some audiences. There is self-harm involved.

He had been cutting for a while. It wasn't on purpose, really it wasn't. He was fourteen when he started. He had been cutting some fruit up in the kitchen while his family was on vacation. His head had been swarming, and he hadn't been paying attention to where he was putting the knife. The sharp pain where the juncture between his wrist and hand was had startled him out of his daze. 

He was quick to put his wrist under the faucet and watched as the blood was quickly washed away. The cut wasn't too deep, but it would take a while to heal. He pushed against the cut: all he could focus on was the pain it brought. Blood gathered in beads at the top of the wound, and slowly dripped down his arm like it was water.

His head was clear. No thoughts of school, or family. No voices reminding him that he had brought his mothers' death. No imaginary tones of his friends telling him he was a disgusting fairy. No deep voices telling him what to do, and insulting him by calling him a dirty half-breed. No wavering tones were telling him that he was going to lose his throne. There was nobody telling him anything. It was just him, and the pain.

The thought of killing himself had never crossed his mind. He didn't want to die. He just wanted to clear his mind. His school uniform hid his scars and he wore long sleeves no matter the season. It wasn't likely he would get caught by his family. His sisters usually hung out together and his dad was often busy in the clinic. His friends never had sleepovers so he wouldn't have to worry about them either.

He did stop for a little while. He found a different outlet that was brought to him by a Shinigami named Rukia. He was always getting thrown around and beat up. Whenever he was fighting, he was focused on one thing. Winning. It felt refreshing. He didn't have to worry about cleaning fresh cuts. For a few hours, he could just let go. He could forget. 

In the next two years, he found out what the voices in his head were. His zanpakuto was tied to his hollow powers and the voice that would call him a half-breed was his Quincey powers. Ywach didn't like that he was part Shinigami.

It calmed down after the Quincey Blood War. There were far fewer hollows and no one had tried to decimate Karakura town in a while. Ichigo officially had nothing to do and nothing to keep his mind from drowning in its own thoughts. He tried to keep the blade away from his arm, but it was so hard. He couldn't stop himself. The frigid tip of the blade feathered along his arm for a few minutes as he contemplated what he was doing. The blade scraped against his skin drawing thin lines of red from the veins below. He pushed the blade further into his skin and moved onto the next line as the blood streamed out of the cut. 

He didn't think as he continued to push the blade deeper and deeper, harder and harder into his arm. He didn't notice the blood rushing out of one wound that he cut a little too deep. He laid his dizzy head on his arm and his eyes fluttered. It wasn't long before he passed out, but it was a few hours until the blood stopped flowing. 

He woke up the next morning feeling light headed. He had  blood crusted onto his arm and the green carpet was spotted with the liquid. He wouldn't be able to get that out of the carpet. He sat up slowly and reached to turn the shower on. He slowly pulled his clothes off and crawled into the shower tub. It took a while to get the blood off his arm, and it hurt like hell. He felt a little better after his shower and tried to stand up. It took a couple tries, but he was able to. He dried off and put on clothes before rolling up the carpet to throw it away.

Yuzu was downstairs when he was done. She was making breakfast.

"Ichi~nii, why aren't you dressed for school yet?"

Ichigo's eyes widened as he ran upstairs to change into his school uniform. Goddammit, he'd passed out on a school night. He rushed to pull on his pants before running to put on his shoes. He rushed out the door to begin his journey to school.

"Ichigo!" He heard Akihiro call out.

"Hey." He called back. His head hurt and his body felt numb. He wanted to collapse.

They walked side by side the rest of the way to the school. Ichigo felt his legs almost buckle a few times, but he managed to keep himself upright. Until he didn't. Luckily, Akihiro was by his side and caught him before he could hit the pavement. He could feel his lungs expanding and relaxing, and he could feel the warmth running down his arm.

He heard Akihiro murmer, "Oh, Ichi. What did you do?"

He passed out.

When he woke up, he was in his room. There was a hand on his stomach and a sleeping boy next to his bed. There was a glass of water next to his bed and a sandwich with a note. He looked to see that his arm had been bandaged in gauze. He reached to grasp Akihiro's hand before falling back asleep.

"Morning, Ichi."

Ichigo opened his eyes. "Morning, Aki."

Akihiro kissed his cheek lightly, "please don't do that again."

"I'll try."

"I know."