The Hardest Puzzle || Death Note

Bloopers-Made For You (Part One)

Random Bloopers * Made For You (Part One) -
Don't stop reading yet! I'm not done with you and Near yet! XD
Quick Notes:
•"You" means you, the reader. "Me" means me, the author, aka Josie Chambers. XD
•I also will have one blooper/funny scene per chapter.
• I will divide them into maybe three-six per part, cuz some of 'em are reeeallyyy long.
•The italics are direct quotes taken from the story, and what isn't italicized is the new, (hopefully) funny stuff. :)
•Thank you for reading this product of my hard work, and I hope that you're pleasantly amused by these random things!
Love, Josie Chambers :D
And now onto the actual bloopers. ;P
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Prologue (Good Life):
"Near was getting close."
"Yet he was leaving out one major element; one major puzzle that was going to be hard for him to solve in the future."
"And at the moment, that puzzle was..."-
But wait a minute...
Yes! He'd done it!
Near leaped up into the air, his chocolate bar flying out of his hand and going for a quick orbit around Near's dice city.
Ignoring his staring team, Near pumped his fists in the air, somehow completely expressionless at the same time.
An adorable puppy-a beagle with big, sad eyes-stared up at him, the missing piece from its forehead having finally been found. (Near's latest secret-teenage-girl-obsession was puppies.)
Yes! Near had finally solved his ten thousand-piece puzzle!
(It had been the hardest puzzle yet.)
.........
Me: And that's why I called this story "The Hardest Puzzle." Tee-hee.
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One (Prodigal):
"You walked home slowly.
This happened everyday, but today was especially bad. You really didn't want to go home; you never wanted to. But today, for some odd reason, your instinct was loudly screaming for you to get away and run while you still could.
Your street corner came into view, and you could see your normal, boring house in the distance."
"Your legs wanted to run, but your body couldn't follow them.
They'd be crushed if you went away forever, and furious if you became a prodigal daughter."
You stopped abruptly.
"You know what, f*ck this sh*t! I don't give a d*mn!" you cursed suddenly, turning tail. "Hell, I've always wanted to try being a prodigal!"
You tossed your backpack onto the ground by an oak tree. You then turned and hightailed it out of there.
"Screw you guys~~~!" was the last thing that neighborhood ever heard of you.
.........
Me: OMG IT'S A PUNK/GANG LEADER/REBELLIOUS READER! RUNNN! DX WAIT VIOLENT WHEN DID YOU SHOW UP!!!
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Two (Tyrant):
"Your father leaned down on you, smothering you" with...
Chocolate.
You stared at him, flabbergasted, as he tried to shove a Hershey bar down your throat and a Hershey Kiss up your nose.
"Wh-wha?" you stuttered, nearly choking on the chocolate and thus spitting it out.
"It's a gift from Mello!" your father exclaimed happily. "Turns out he's actually alive!"
.........
Me: ...Do you even know who Mello is in this story???
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Three (Apologize):
"You were frozen. Fear was in every cell in your body. Fear was taking over you. It was a monster.
You were about to be devoured."
"NOOO!" you screeched. "I don't wanna die! I'm way too young to die!"
You panicked.
"No, please, no," you pleaded. "At least shoot me. Just shoot me. Kill me! It'll be quick! Just don't do it by-by-"
Terrified, you stared into the slavering maw of...Near's new puppy.
Why, oh why, did you have to tell him that you were scared of dogs?
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