The Hardest Puzzle || Death Note

18-I Lived

Chapter Eighteen * I Lived -
You couldn't thank Hal enough as she outfitted you with her clothes yet again, and you frequently stumbled awkwardly across the words.
She brushed your thank-yous off, saying that if it made you smile it was okay, which made you flush and stop talking for thirty seconds; then you awkwardly started to thank her again.
But soon it didn't quite matter, and you were rushing out the door to go out in the snow.
Somehow there was about three inches of snow on the ground, and somehow it was still falling, blatantly ignoring the fact that this was California and they never got more than an inch or so at once.
However, you found yourself not caring about that yourself. You were just glad to be here; glad to be now.
You flopped back slowly and hesitatingly in the snow in the front yard of the compound (which was located in the suburbs, so they could actually have a front yard). Soon, though, you relaxed, and while you weren't smiling there was an aura of peace and relaxation around you, and your face clearly showed it, being blank but not quite as blank as Near's.
Speaking of whom, Near was standing silently next to Hal in the compound's doorway. The nineteen-year-old looked awkwardly hilarious in the snow gear that he was in.
Hal nudged him.
"Go on," she encouraged, feeling somewhat like a mother urging on her child on the first day of school.
Near inwardly felt a bit exasperated and embarrassed, but he looked at where you were lying peacefully in the snow, and he walked out.
Near walked up to you and stood over you; you felt his shadow over you and lazily opened an eye.
"Oh...Near," was all you said as you sat up.
You quickly crawled away so that he wasn't blocking the sunlight, then flopped back down. You could feel your back getting even wetter, though, so you forced yourself to get up with a sigh.
You stood slowly, brushing snow off of yourself. Then you looked around to find something to do.
All of a sudden an idea hit you; you started to shape a small snowball. You rolled it around on the snowy ground, making it even larger. Eventually you stopped, huffing and puffing, your breath making little clouds of ice crystals in the air.
You shaped another snowball and rolled it around as well, stopping once it was big but not as big as the first.
You miraculously managed to pick it up, and you staggered over to the other one. You tugged the smaller ball on top of the other one.
Then you busily started to make another, even smaller one.
After putting the third snowball on top you started to make another, slightly smaller snow-person. You then created the smallest snow-person a little bit away from them, thinking with a small pang that it looked like your own family.
Then, feeling a surge of anger, you drew a hasty face on your snow-"dad." It was an evil-looking face.
You also drew a similar-looking expression on the snow-"mom" you'd made, but making her smile in a psychopathic way instead of frowning.
You then bent down and drew a sad, scared face on the snow-child-the snow-"you."
You stood back up to admire your handiwork.
Then, overcome by anger, you reared your fist back and punched your snow-"dad" in the face.
His smaller top snowball fell and split into two. You stomped on it repeatedly until it was dirty, crumbly snow.
You kicked at the rest of the body , and continued to destroy and stomp on it as well.
You then turned to look at your snow-"mom." You growled angrily at it, then slowly, steadily, and continuously punched the head. Slowly, ever so slowly, it broke off and fell, cracks all over the previously perfect ball of snow. It landed in pieces that you ground down into even smaller pieces.
From then on you kicked and occasionally punched the rest of the slowly crumbling body, until your "mom" had been taken down by you and completely destroyed by you.
You stared at the two piles of mushy, snowy slush before you, panting slowly. You were satisfied.
You reached over to the snow-"you" and drew a smile on its face.
You leaned back slowly, triumphant.
But then you saw the little snow-"you" crumble and fall, as if in slow motion, and in that one moment something etched itself into your brain.
This little demonstration of sorts had basically just played out your life until now.
You stared, your eyes wide in surprise.
The snow-parents had been there, and then the snow-kid had come. Then the parents had gotten mad and abusive and mean, and the child had gotten sad. Then the parents were caught and destroyed, and the child was happy for awhile. But then it was ruined, too.
And that was the snow-family metaphor of your life.
You backed away slowly. Your eyes were wide; you were utterly stunned.
You bumped into someone, and whirled around.
You'd forgotten he'd been there. But he had been, watching your little episode and staring apathetically, probably trying to inwardly decide how crazy you were this time.
You flushed.
Near nodded at you. His lips parted. "Go on if you like," he said tonelessly.
You chose to ignore him, and turned to make a small snowball, frustratedly throwing it at him. You missed by about a yard, though.
"You're gonna have to do better than that," he said blandly.
And so you did. You grabbed another fistful of snow and packed it together, as hard as you could get it.
You threw it at Near again.
This time you luckily managed to smack him straight in the middle of his thin frame: right at the center of his chest.
You didn't quite smile; only almost. But it was still a bit of a funny moment.
"But hitting me gives me an opening to hit you," Near reminded. "That's how things worked, right?"
You nodded slowly.
All of a sudden Near brought out a snowball he'd been holding behind his back and whipped it towards you expressionlessly.
You stared at him, astounded. All you were able to do was watch dumbly as the snowball whizzed right by you; at least four feet or so away.
The snowball landed a few yards behind you, creating an indentation in the snow and breaking into crumbly pieces.
You stared at where the snowball had gone down, and then at Near. Your gaze traveled between the two for a moment.
You fought back the urge to grin fatuously, but it sadly was a losing battle for you.
You grinned hugely.
Near's next attempt veered even further off course, and though he didn't show it you could visibly tell that Near was growing increasingly frustrated.
You burst into laughter.
At first your laughter was scratchy and soft, and it almost hurt when coming out. However, your throat soon grew used to the odd movement, and your laugh became fuller, louder, and more and more voracious.
From a window, Hal smiled. She'd known that you'd eventually be fixed. She turned away, and left to go back to work. You and Near could certainly handle it from there.
Near, remaining expressionless, felt all frustration from his lack of ability to throw a snowball dissipate. It was replaced with a sort of satisfaction.
Near was always right. He always succeeded. And this was no exception to the rule.
Your eyes were screwed shut, and you were laughing extremely loudly, almost too loudly to be normal or comfortable. It sounded almost hysterical.
Then, to Near's surprise, he realized that it was hysterical laughter, to a certain extent. There were tears carving tracks down your face.
Near didn't know anything better to do than just stand there, which actually turned out to be the best thin for you.
Eventually it was out of your system, and so you quickly swiped a hand across your eyes.
"I'm gonna...get a tissue," you said, flushed and embarrassed at your red, puffy eyes and so on.
You hurried to get inside, and somehow found yourself tripping over a tree root that had been hidden in the snow.
You lurched forward and slightly sideways into Near.
From there Near almost stopped you two from falling, but was unsuccessful in his mission to do as such. He somehow managed to make you fall backwards instead, and went down with you.
Your eyes instinctively screwed tightly shut as you fell.
Luckily there was snow on the ground, and luckily your piles of destroyed snow-people were there, too, so your landing was fairly soft. Even so, the wind was knocked out of you.
You lay there, panting, eyes squeezed shut. You were completely winded and yet completely relieved as well.
After a short time you started to be able to breathe again properly, and you gradually became aware of a large weight on your chest.
Your eyelids fluttered open to see Near lying on top of you, staring intelligently at you with his unreadable gray eyes.