The Hardest Puzzle || Death Note

14-Can't Stop

WARNING: This chapter mentions and involves several things things, such as incest, teen pregnancy, and cutting. You have been warned, so please proceed at your own risk and don't say I didn't warn you.
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Chapter Fourteen * Can't Stop -
You slowly bent down to pick up the box, carefully making sure that your towel didn't reveal anything and that Near had no chance to see anything he shouldn't.
You slowly and awkwardly stood up again.
On your way up you had a sudden idea.
"B-but I can't be-be...," you stuttered. "I...I'm on my...my..." But once you had started it you couldn't go back, you you forged on ahead. "Period. I'm on my period."
"If it's just small spots it's another sign of pregnancy, not your period," Near corrected.
Your eyes grew wider and your pupils contracted.
How did this guy know so much about pregnancy signs?, you wondered irritatedly.
"How do you know so much?" you dared venture.
Near smirked smugly. "I'm Near."
Disbelieving, you stared at him.
His smirk disappeared, and he sighed, the first true display of emotion he'd provided since you'd first met him.
"I looked at the laptop's history," he admitted. "There were some interesting articles that came up when searching items like what your were searching."
You shuddered. This guy had looked at your computer history? Granted, it was his computer, but it still seemed somewhat stalkerish...You decided you didn't want to know where he got the pregnancy tests.
You ran your tongue across your dry, cracked lips. Your stringy, somewhat long hair was in wet clumps. Several dribbled water droplets down your skin.
"So you...want me to do this?" you inquired in a quiet, defeated tone.
Near nodded. "Yes."
"Okay."
You turned back into the bathroom, and closed and locked the door behind you.
You quickly changed back into the overly huge clothes Hal lent you, hanging up your towel on a hook on the back of the door.
You sat down on the toilet, clutching the dreaded and feared box in both hands.
So how do you do this?
You turned the box on its side and peered at the instructions, nervously deciding to follow the directions and answer the question majorly bothering you (and merely puzzling Near).
.........
You straightened, your face a mask of horror.
You were pregnant.
With your father's child.
Your eyes were wide; your mouth in a small "o."
"N-no," you whispered hoarsely, dropping the test. "N-not possible. No...no...NO!"
The last part came out as a hysterical shriek, and you sank to the floor, sobbing. You clenched your fists tightly, allowing the skin of your palm to tear as your fingernails dug into your palms.
"______?" Near said from behind the locked bathroom door. He experimentally tugged at the doorknob. "Is everything okay?"
But it wasn't.
"I-it can't be tr-true," you cried, your voice choked up. "No...no... Why did this have to h-happen? And..."
You stopped and abruptly stood.
You opened the cabinet below the sink and looked around in it. Not finding what you were looking for, you shut the cabinet doors with a loud thump.
"Please answer me, ______," Near's voice sounded. And was it just you, or was his usually apathetic tone slightly...worried?
But it didn't matter. You ignored his voice and opened the medicine cabinet above the countertop. Not finding what you wanted there either, you turned to look at the shower.
"Miss ______ ______, if you don't answer me I'm going to use the key to open the door.
Dammit, you cursed in your head. He had a key?!
But that didn't matter either; you'd just found what you'd been looking for. It glinted on a shelf next to the shampoo.
You reached out a shaking hand and grasped the slender object with trembling fingers.
I'm sorry for tainting your things, Hal, you thought apologetically in your head.
Tears slipped endlessly down your face, and your entire body shook uncontrollably. You could barely hold the object you needed in your hand.
You slashed the razor across your wrist.
It bit into your wrist, carving clean lines in the pale, fragile skin. But the lines quickly disappeared as blood welled up and pooled out of them.
You gasped in pain and dropped the razor with a clatter. You'd never cut yourself before, but you had finally given in. After all, your life couldn't get any worse, could it? And it was too late for it to get better.
Blood ran in rivulets down your arm, and dripped down onto your discarded white towel, staining it red.
Near had heard the clatter, and you heard he click of a key in the lock of the bathroom door.
"I'm coming in," he announced.
The blood was getting everywhere.
You pressed a strip of toilet paper to it, but it wouldn't stop.
Your first time cutting, and you cut too deep.
You began to get hysterical again. "It's too deep," you sobbed. "It's too deep!"
But still you couldn't stop.
You reached down and slowly picked up the razor again.
The doorknob turned, and Near opened it. His wide, gray eyes immediately took in the scene, and somehow widened even more.
"______!" he exclaimed, in a rare burst of emotion. The worry plainly showed through.
Near immediately raced over to you and wrestled the razor from your grip.
"No...no!" you wailed. "Let go! Leave me alone! I-I want to...to die...!"
In one final yank Near got the razor out of your hands.
It thudded down onto your bloodstained towel, soiling the cloth even more.
Even though you no longer had the razor you kept fighting. You struggled with Near, refusing to relax.
"Relax!" Near said rapidly to you. "Just relax. Relax, ______."
You refused to.
"Please stop struggling!"
You wouldn't stop. I can't stop, you thought wildly. Your eyes were wide and bloodshot.
Eventually Near had to grab you in his arms and give you an awkward hug from behind, getting himself and his clothing bloody in the process.
You immediately gave up and sagged down limply.
Near's grip, however, wasn't relaxing in the slightest, and he held you tightly from behind.
You burst into a fresh wave of helpless tears.
Near awkwardly just sat there.
"...Don't be so childish," he eventually said.
You gave a short, choked up laugh in between sobs.
"Like you're one to talk."
"...True."
There was silence for another second.
"Don't do that again," Near commanded after a minute or so. "Even if you hate yourself and want to die. Promise me."
You nodded slowly.
"I promise," you said softly, your voice husky and scratchy.
"Good." Near's tone slowly dipped back into its usual apathetic quality. He slowly let go of you.
You hiccuped.
You wanted to tell him to stop acting like he cared about nothing. You knew that he really did care.
In reality, he was, in fact, the one being childish.