The Monitor Masquerade

Level 29

Username Unavalible's POV

I woke up to my freezing cold room. I just curled up into my covers more, something that I had gotten used to a lot. I hadn't been myself lately. I hadn't been texting anyone, I hadn't been hanging out with Kelli any either. I knew she had a big competition coming up and I didn't want to bother her. Plus I always saw Taylor's car over there. I felt sick thinking about it. I wanted what Kelli had. I wanted someone to tell me everything was okay. I wanted someone to hold me and be strong for me. I was tired of being the strong one. I thought of Andy. He was everything I needed and I had been blowing him off. Travis freaked me out and instead of talking to him about it, I ran and hid. Kelli tells Taylor everything. I needed to communicate. My phone buzzed but I just let it stay there. I didn't talk to Andy. I felt too bad. I ruined everything and he doesn't even know it. My thoughts traveled to Kelli. What if she needed something? I rolled over and grabbed my phone from my night stand. I was surprised to see Jason had texted me.

Jason: hey...theres a lot happening over here. can we go for a walk?

I quickly typed my response.

Me: Yeah of course! I'm in need of a walk myself!

Jason: cool. I'll be outside.

I got up and threw on some clothes. I looked in the mirror and figured I looked good enough for a 14 year old. I grabbed my house key and a jacket before I headed outside. Jason was already out there waiting in a jacket. He looked wrong. Like he had lost weight. Like something was on his mind, eating away at him slowly. He had bags under his eyes, a telltale sign he hadn't been sleeping "Hey champ. What's up?" I looked over to see Kelli's car gone.

"Kelli's on a date with Taylor and my mom's at work."

There's a lot happening over here. "I see, so walk?"

"Yeah that'd be nice."

After we got down the street a little bit I got the courage to take to him. "So what's up?"

"I guess I'm just bored." He kept his eyes focused on the ground. "Nothing's really happening today."

"I thought you said a lot was happening?"

"Well a lot is...in my head. But then it just gets really quiet you know?" I felt my skin crawl. There was something odd about the way he said it. I fought through the bullshit in my head to find something to say but I couldn't. "It's normal though. I just have low days like everyone else."

"Did something happen?"

"Nothing ever happens. I just keep forgetting my medicine."

"Medicine?"

"Depression."

Fuck. "I see. My friend back home use to be on medication for depression and it really helped her out."

"Yeah but when guys take it, it means we're weak."

Wait what? How was telling him that? Certainly not Kelli, and their mom seemed way too understanding to say something like that. Maybe their dad? But how could someone say something like that to a kid? "I think it makes you strong. Not a lot of people can swallow their pride and admit they need help. If you think about it, you're going through life carrying a boulder while everyone else has a stone. You're the strongest of them all."

"Think so?"

"Yeah, I mean you broke Travis' nose."

"Has he tried to bother you?"

"No, I think you scared him off."

"Good. Glad I can do something right..." He trailed off.

"Jason..." I stopped him from walking. "Where is that coming from?"