Twisted

I miss You

You know you're depressed when you wake up, you see the sun, and all of a sudden a type of hate fumes within you. It's the most awful and wretched feeling, a bitterness inside you. The sun shines through the curtain when you awake, yet you despise the sight of the sun that you just force yourself to sleep until the darkness consumes you, but you didn't even want the darkness in the first place. It wasn't welcome in your life. There was no invitation.

I know, it's all hard to explain these days. The negative stigma is just as sickening as psychos shooting up schools. People choose not to listen, and people choose to die.
It's crazy... life is crazy. The hollow hole where your heart used to be is growing. Your whole body that used to be your temple? Your palace? You can't even love without feeling insecure because of what happened in the past. Your past!

Then the darkness consumed you, swallowed you whole. Now your whole life is taking its toll. You don't know where to go or what to do. Nothing is the same within you. Where did you go, my friend?

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To the Outsiders

I don't have the words to describe anything that I feel. Nothing compares to this. I wish I knew what to say. I'd love to put it all in a neat poem, but my thoughts aren't neat; they're messy. The worst thoughts..the most negative.

I don't understand why I'm here if I'm only filled with pain - emotional and mental.

Sometimes I don't think of myself as a depressed person. I used to be depressed. You know you're depressed when you wake up in the mornings and see the sun shine through your curtain, yet you hate it so much you wish you were dead and end up staying in bed all of the time feeling hopeless. Yeah.

Judging from the past, I know I have improved. Not as depressed like I was. I just hold lots of sadness, and it consumes me sometimes.

It consumes everybody sometimes.