The Open Canvas [Poetry]

Silence

Warning!!! This may be a trigger for some readers.

*****

I sit around the dining table not having an appetite.
My family is here with me.
Everyone seem happy and caught up in their own bliss.

Everyone except me.

I am good at pretending.
I pretend so much that it has become my reality.

But it is not only me.

I look into the mirror and stare at the reflection infront of me.
I don't recognized that girl looking back at me.

Not anymore.

I lost her a long time ago.

All that remains is a terrified, fragile and broken girl that I don't want others to see.

I hear the creaking of my bedroom door and I am automatically transported to the pits of hell.
You soberly enter my room, eager for me to play the role of 'daddy's little girl'.
An encore only you enjoy seeing.
The night only rewards me with sweet  torment and everlasting torture.

I am a ghost lurking in the shadows.
Numb to the pain.

The older version of me suspects I am not O.K.
But there is no evidence that can be used to solve the murder.

The murder of my innocence.

5 years, 260 weeks, 1,825 days,  2.3 million minutes I have not spoken.
You told me not to.

And I don't want to.

I can't.

I think I am saving my family.
You have your son that looks up to you,
A wife that adores you too.

I look at the younger version of myself,
Eyes bright with innocence.

I am her martyr.

Some people think I am weird because I don't speak.
While others don't really know how to act around me.
To them, I am an invaluable chinaware that they secure in their cabinets to prevent from being damaged.

But I already fell.

I am already broken.

I am shattered.

*****

A/N: First of all, I want to wish my fierce ladies a Happy Int'l Women's Day!! ❤ We have come a long way. We as women have gone through and endured a lot yet we are still here pressing on.

I am a person who loves to write on real issues. This poem speaks on a deep and dark issue that many children/women ascross the world have endured; sexual abuse. I just want to let you know that you are strong even when you think you are not. Don't ever blame or be ashamed of yourself  for the atrocities someone has inflicted upon you. Don't ever think you are alone. NEVER keep silent!!

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Love,

-Amanda❤