The Open Canvas [Poetry]

1-800-273-8255

I am a breathing corpse.
I am living but I am not alive.
I don't just want to survive.

I can no longer see the light.
I have become the darkness that brought me sweet torment.
I am a walking blackout.

The smile on my face only forms a never ending eclipse of the life I don't want to live.
I am tired of pretending, the ocsar is mine to win.
I am awaiting the final exhale.

I count the seconds, the minutes and hours of my existence.
The torture of being in a place that no longer has room for you.

Happiness is a language I no longer understand.
I am a vessel trapped in a foreign land.
I tried, I really did.
But I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Maybe you'll miss me, maybe you don't.
I really don't feel like fighting anymore, I really don't.
I am fighting for a life that isn't mine.

I am sorry that I let you down
The voices on my head were too loud.
They are soldiers on a mission.
I am captured by the one who wantd complete dominion.

I tattooed my wrist with one deep defining mark.
My body provided the ink that saturated the sacred ground.

A living sacrifice.

But my pulse made the sweetest melody.
And I hear the monitors beating for me.
I am lying in this bed.
With all the thoughts conducting a circus in my head.

I am a rose that will bloom again.
The day has finally become my friend.
I want to see the sky everyday.
Eventhough the darkness left a scar on my heart.

It will heal.

I am not alone.

I don't want to die anymore
I want to finally be alive.

*****

A/N: It's been a while since I have last updated.

Suicide is a prominent issue that affects many lives globally. If you have been to the point where you consider committing suicide, please seek help and talk to someone!!

There are usually warning signs.

If you have a friend/family who have/has been showing signs of suicidal thoughts please do not ignore it. Offer hope, listen to the person and let them know they are not alone and never be judgemental.

The sun always rise.

-Amanda ❤❤