Together (Book 1)

Chapter 16

Virgil's POV

I sighed, clutching the back of my head in pain. "Roman, I—"

He hushed me. "Are you okay?" He sat me down on the bed gently, giving me a kiss. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

No. I sighed, shoving my fear down. "I'm not like you..."

He chuckled. "Well, of course not."

I shook my head despite the pain and looked at him. "You control when you feel pain, Ro; I... can't. I feel all of it. Deceit, when we were closer, found out." I squeezed my hands into fists. "He has this way of finding out lies and secrets. He's always been particularly interested in mine."

Roman hugged me, a warm, welcomed feeling. "How long has he been hurting you?" he asked quietly into my ear.

I wrapped my arms around his torso gently. "I, um... I don't know. Two—Two years, maybe."

He buried his head in my neck. "I wish I'd known..."

"You couldn't have done anything," I replied.

"Bullshit!" he yelled, and I flinched. He pulled out of our hug and rested his hands on my shoulders. "I could have stopped him; I could have... I could have been there for you rather than..." Tears rolled down his cheeks.

I wiped them away.

"I'm sorry how I treated you all this time. I shouldn't have—"

I smiled, interrupting him, "Roman, it's fine."

"It's not." Another tear fell. "Why was I so mean to you? We were such good friends when Thomas was a kid."

I looked down. I knew why, of course. I'd beaten myself up over it for forever. "I know why..." I wanted to shut myself up as soon as I said it, but words kept coming out. "I messed him up."

"What?"

"Thomas was in his first real theatre performance. I was so nervous, and I accidentally made Thomas forget his lines and embarrassed the shit out of him."

"I'd forgotten." His hands fell away from me.

My brain explored every possible outcome to the conversation that was coming, and none of them seemed good.

Roman kissed my cheek before pulling away and smiling at me. "Thomas needs to talk to me super quick. I'll be back." He sunk out.

I sagged. He doesn't hate me.

Yes, he does. That was a farewell kiss. Things are going to go back to the way they used to be.

I shook my head at my own thoughts. No, everything is fine.

But, they persisted. Over and over again, my brain told me that Roman hated me—that we'd never be friends or anything ever again, not after what I'd done.

———

I messed up everything. Roman was mad at me—my best friend was mad at me. I wasn't sure when I'd started crying. I couldn't calm myself down, and I searched my memories for something that would help.

Cutting? It was the first thought that came to mind. Would it even work?

I didn't care; I just wanted to feel better. I summoned a razor and slowly rolled up my sleeve.

This is a good idea, I told myself, repeating the same sentence over and over again.

Soon, blood dripped from orderly lines along both my arms. My panic only grew.

That's a lot of blood.

It dripped onto the carpet, staining it red.

Oh, God, what did I do?

———

I shook the memory away, hating the feeling it had on me. Cutting had been a pretty shitty idea, but I had been young and stupid. Patton had found me shortly after and helped me get cleaned up. He didn't ask any questions, but I'd seen the tears in his eyes, and that was enough to never do it again.

That small voice in the back of my head told me it would be different this time if I'd only try it again. I stood up, opened my closet, and pulled out some art supplies. I sat down at my desk and painted whatever came to mind.

When I was done with it, I hid it away with the others, feeling only a little bit better.

A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

"Who is it?" I called.

"It's Roman."

"Come on in." I finished packing everything away, then turned around.

Roman sat on my bed, smiling. "I'm sorry I left. Thomas needed my help."

In truth, I hadn't expected him to come back at all. Nevertheless, I returned his smile and sat down next to him.

He encased me in a tight hug. "I really am sorry."

I hugged him back, playing with his hair. "You apologize too much," I laughed quietly.

He pulled back, his hands coming to rest on my waist. "You have a beautiful laugh."

Leaning back in, I kissed him gently.

The door opened, and I jumped back.

Patton stood in the doorway, wide-eyed. He slapped a hand over his mouth and squealed. He turned, ready to go tell whoever he could, but Roman grabbed his wrist.

"Patt, listen to us, okay?" he tried.

Patton grinned knowingly at me.

I tried speaking carefully so he would understand. "Please calm down so that there's a chance you'll hear something we say. You can't tell anyone, especially not Logan."

"Why not?" he whined.

I sighed. "Logan believes that any relationship between the Sides should be purely professional." I put my head in my hands, already thinking of everything that could go wrong now that someone else knew.

Patton sat next to me. "I don't think Logan feels that way, but I'll keep your secret if you genuinely think it's for the best."

I smiled and looked up at him, then at Roman, who sagged a little with relief.

"Well," Patt said, drawing our attention again, "I was coming here to invite you to watch a movie with Logan and me."

I shrugged, and Roman said, "Why not?"