Love is Impatient, Love is Unkind

Some stupid speech

I was so afraid of losing you, that I completely missed it when I started to actually lose you. While you started to realize that maybe I'm not the one for you. I could not believe it when you left me. After all those  promises you'd made, that you'd stay with me forever. I could not believe it. Which on its own should be unbelievable. Since all this time I've been trying to prepare for the day, for the very moment. Coming up with some stupid come backs or remarks that id make that would surely change your mind. Some secret weapon or speech that i'd recite because trust me I wanted to fight for you. It didn't work, because guess what? I couldn't say them. How ridiculous right? I mean it seems like I should've been ready for something like that. I thought I was used to it. The occasional verbal slap in the face here and there. I was sure I had this down. I was positive that I was ready for the day that you'd realize I'm nothing special, nothing awesome, or amazing. I'm ordinary. And to me you were extraordinary. See how it doesn't add up in the end? For you to love me. Somebody like me. So damn crazy. And now I sit here and think "my God I didn't fight for you" like that's unexplainable. Nobody not even I can explain to myself what caused my jaw to lock in place. For my tongue to suddenly freeze and for the words to just never come out. Blows my mind. I was sure I was ready to fight for you.
But I guess I wasn't and I guess I'll always wonder why. It'll be something I regret forever, maybe even longer than that.       -Gabsviolet      g.vio.g