Weak

Chapter Three

While Murv was sleeping I decided to plan my own escape from this hospital. There was no reason for me to continue to stay here if I felt fine. I'm wasting time being locked up in this bleak room. I could be almost across state borders by now. I could have a new identity. My new name could be Ben and I could be from France or some other country. I'm here in America with a student visa and my major is Economics. But I may be over thinking this. If I run away, that would just raise suspicion. My mother would also get worried and look for me. If I'm found then they'll wonder why I ran away. They'll know I have a secret. Maybe I should just stay in the hospital even longer. I can fake pains, make myself vomit—any thing to extend my time in the hospital.

I've got a great idea. I can make myself seem like I'm crazy. Like maybe when I fell my brain got messed up and I lost it. Then they'll send me to a mental hospital. This idea is amazing because then if they find out that I killed Daniel, I can plead that I'm simply insane! This is great. But maybe I am insane...I killed Daniel. I killed him. I killed him because he was who he was and I hated him for his bullying ways and all the humiliation that he put me through. I hated the fact that I had to take the long way home just so I didn't have to see his face, or his fist, hear his words. I didn't want him to hurt me anymore. I never wanted to be called a punk ever again. I killed him to fulfill my wants. I am pathetic. I am everything that Daniel said I was. But I couldn't take my identity from him because the truth was just too painful. I am a coward and I am a murderer.

I spent the rest of the day emotionally scarred. Accepting the fact that you just took someone's life is not easy. I figure jail time is the best punishment. You get to live your life in guilt. If only you could just go back in time, take your beating and move one, you would. But you can't. I'd much rather take the death sentence right about now. I didn't have to, but I felt as though it was a must. Now I feel scared about my future. Does it hold freedom, imprisonment, or lethal injection? I guess this is my time to help carve my path; unless fate has already cemented the stone.