Hopeless

Chapter 6

She finally drank her pain away~

It felt as through you were floating. Or dancing. Your surroundings blurred into a mosaic painting around you.

You were younger your frame leaner, stronger, more prepared to fight. You brought a few digits up to your derma and looked up into the suddenly appearing mirror.

It was you, a much younger version.

One that was still bright opticed and hopeful.

One that felt useful and brilliant, one that belonged.

Belonged

The word felt far off and sour. Like it was never supposed to describe you in the slightest.

You reached out to touch the mirror sending its silvery surface rippling like an endless pool. You scrambled to your pedes as the suddenly entrapping walls began to grow filled with the metallic liquid. It engulfed your frame.

You were forced under the ocean of mirror liquid. You parted your jaws to scream but you couldn't.

The liquid filled our intake and slipped down your throat pipes. It tainted your systems causing them to stall and stutter.

You tried to claw your way to the surface, but everything was forcing you to stay down.

Telling you-

No, SCREAMING at you to give up and let yourself sink to the bottom.

And that, didn't seem unreasonable.

It seemed easier than fighting so hard to stay afloat against the current.

Just when your ready to give up fighting your jerked back to the surface.

~

You shot up in berth then immediately winced at the hard thump of your processor against your helm.

You hissed and flopped back against the berth holding you helm.

"Fraggit... I need a smoke.." you grunted

You fished the package of e-cigs from your sub space and you pinned one between your denta. You replaced the package into your subspace. You bright your servos up to your face.

You clicked on the lighter. You watched as the flame flickered casting a dim light over your face and servos.

It was so fragile. A dancer, much like the pale grey one, though this one danced to a different song. It flickered and turned as through praising for her onlining. Thanking the world to let her vent.

Thanking a cruel unfair world that doesn't deserve her praise.

The heat grew on your digits and servo. But you couldn't draw your optics from the little dancer.

Gracing the world with her beauty and light.

So easily snapped out of life.

It was cruel.

Really.

You huffed causing her to tremble and arch away from the gust that will quickly end her short life.

You finally lit your e-cig and cut off her source of life.

And just like that, she was gone. Her heat was quick to dissipate leaving no mark.

You vented leaning your helm back resting your servos on your tank. You rolled the e-cig between your jaw. Your optics were hazy and hard to keep open, but you didn't want to recharge.

You didn't want to know what you could make possible there.

It may have been the intoxication still lingering, but tears welled in your optics and seeped from the corner of your optics and dampened the berth.

You let it happen.

You jus wanted to forget about yourself. You wanted the pain to leave you alone.

But the past keeps dragging itself like a stabilizer less solider dragging himself by his servos desperate to get help.

You blinked your optics trying to get rid of the still welling tears. You rolled over onto your side and stared forlornly at the door. The dim light your optics produced reflected on the silken sheets.

The e-cig created a warm orange glow. The two colors collided and painted something beautiful across the sheets. You ran your servo up and down the sheet. Feeling the soft material over your palm.

It was almost comforting in a sense. The way the fabric gently rubbed against your servo and digits. It almost made you crack a smile.

You huffed a vent. Deciding it was time to get up, you didn't move. Your limbs wouldn't respond, for some reason you were ok with that.

You didn't want to get up and leave, you just wanted everything to

Stop.

A little at a time~