It's Always Been Him (BTS Jungkook x Reader)

13

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

I groaned as I whacked my alarm clock. My head was pounding, and as I crawled to my mirror I saw I had big bags underneath my eyes. Wonderful. My hair was naturally wavy, so I didn't have to worry about doing anything with it, other than brushing it. I pulled on a tshirt and some jeans, and slipped on my converse. I slid into my leather jacket and slung my bag over my back. I went into the bathroom, did my teeth and quickly washed my face.

I still looked like shit.

I hadn't been able to sleep last night after the fight I had with Jimin. I'd stayed up nearly all night thinking about it and about how much I hoped he was wrong. As I got downstairs, I saw Jimin there with a mug of tea. He took a sip as he watched me come down the stairs, and I wish I'd just gone out the door.

But the nice part of me made me stay and apologise to Jimin. He waved it off telling me it was in the past, but his voice was cold. I rarely saw this side of him, and I hated it.

"Chim, I really am sorry."

"You'll be late for school. Go." I fiddled with my hands.

"Jimi-"

"Go." I took a deep breath and took a step towards him instead. He looked at me blankly. "Y/N, you'll be late."

"I don't care. School can wait." I dropped my bag against the counter and crossed my arms. I didn't want to fight again, but I wanted to move past this. "I am sorry about last night, but I haven't changed my mind. I really like Jungkook, okay? And I know he's a dick, but so am I. He's changed, he's being genuine with me. I know it. Can you trust me please? I know he's slept with like.. everyone in our year, and others, and I know he used people, but he's not using me. And if he really is, then I can handle it myself." Jimin took a deep breath before answering.

"And I'm telling you to trust me when I say he hasn't changed. He's probably just trying to get in your pants, he isn't a relationship guy. Not yet anyway. Just break it off with him okay, it only started this week - it doesn't even mean anything. Do it, or I will." I scoffed.

"Are you threatening me? Jimin you're my brother, not a king. I can do what I want, with who I want, okay? So don't even try telling me otherwise." There was an edge to my voice that only came out when I was extremely annoyed, but trying to keep it cool. He was equally as angry.

"He's gonna try and have sex with you before you know it, and you'll let him because you think he's 'changed'! If I were you, I wouldn't give my virginity to him if he was the last person on Earth, because he's taken hundreds of girls' virginities and hasn't looked back. It's like taking candy from a child to him, it's as easy as that. He doesn't care about girls, he doesn't care about you." That really stung. I slapped him.

"If you think I'd do that, then you really don't know me." I took my back and stormed out of the house, fuming. I don't think it would've bothered me as much if I didn't think what I was saying might not have been true.

Jungkook might not have changed, he might still be trying to just have sex with me. This could all be a trick. He could be cheating on me, maybe that's why he doesn't want to go public. He could be using me, he could-

I stopped myself before I teared up. I looked like enough shit already, I didn't need me crying to add to it.

**

I had Music today, so I was excited to sit next to Jungkook. I wasn't going to tell him about the fight me and Jimin had, I didn't want him to think I had any doubts.

When I sat down, Jungkook wasn't there. I frowned. I was a few minutes late to the lesson already, so where was he?

Was he off with some other girl? Was he fucking her right now as we speak?

I pushed those thoughts away and focused on the lesson. But my thoughts drifted anyway.

Jimin would probably confront Jungkook about it, and tell him to break it off. And if he didn't, he'd probably tell the others and get them to convince Jungkook to break it off. But if they agreed with Jimin, would that make them right? Would that mean that Jungkook really was just using me, that he didn't actually like me? Was he actually just using me for sex?

I let my thoughts consume me to a point where I was nearly crying. I barely had enough time to get permission to go to the bathroom before I burst out crying in one of the stalls. The rest of the toilets were empty, and I hoped no one would come in. I cried and I cried and I cried. I let it all out. By the time I was done, my eyes and nose were red and my skin was blotchy. At least it was out and done with.

I stood over the sink, splashing my face with cold water. I used my t-shirt to dry myself and then looked. A slight improvement. I checked the time, and realised I'd been in here for over five minutes. My classmates would think I was taking a shit! I raced back to class and bumped into Jungkook on the way. I wasn't sure what to do. He looked startled.

"Jesus, Y/N, you look like shit." I rolled my eyes.

"Real ladies man you are." He covered his mouth as he laughed.

"Sorry. But seriously, are you okay?" I nodded, shrugging it off.

"Yeah, it's nothing. Why are you late?" He paused.

"Oh. I was in the hospital with my brother. He's showing signs of improvement." So he wasn't with another girl. Thank god. I smiled happily for him.

"That's awesome!" He grinned happily and leaned down to kiss me. I accidentally pulled away. He frowned.

"Oh, uh, sorry." I pressed my lips together.

"No no, sorry! That was my fault. I'm just uh, distracted that's all. Sorry." He waved it off, but I could tell he was a little hurt.

He wouldn't get hurt if he was just in this for the sex.

I leaned up and kissed him when I thought of that, and he gladly kissed my back. I cupped his cheek with my hand, and his hand travelled down to my waist. No lower.

A real ladies man he was.

We pulled away and started heading back to Music. I stopped short of opening the door.

"Ah." I nodded. "Uhm."

"You go in, say why you were late and stuff. There's only twenty minutes left, I don't think I'll go back." He raised an eyebrow. "I went to the bathroom, but I was in there so long people are gonna think I was taking a shit." He laughed really loud, and I ducked out of the way of the doorway, hoping the teacher wouldn't hear us. I laughed a little too.

"But you're my Music buddy." He pouted. I stuck out my tongue.

"I'm more than just your Music buddy." I winked and turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug. I squeezed him tightly, glad for the extra warmth. I went to pull away but he stopped me again.

"I could just come with you. They don't know I'm in." He wiggled his eyebrows, and I nodded eagerly. I suddenly frowned.

"My bag." He scowled. "Eh.. Maya'll get it for me, it's fine." He grinned again with his cute little bunny smile, and took my hand. We went to the park and sat on the bench where he chucked a pastie at my head.

As we sat down, the memories of everything that had happened over these last few weeks came flooding to my mind, and I grinned.

He had changed. And if he hadn't, then I'd make him. I'd change him, so that he wasn't just a playboy. He was real, genuine. He wasn't using me for the sex, I was sure.

I hoped I was right, I really did. I didn't want to have to deal with heartbreak, not yet. Not now. I rested my head on his shoulder as we observed the scenery.

Yeah, I really do like him.