SUPERMARKET FLOWERS ( t. oikawa )

00 | the boy and the girl, future

future.

The clouds are puffy white things that float in the azure expanse of the sky. The seagulls circle overhead and she presses the volleyball to her stomach, watching. The horizon is a murky brown that vaguely resembles his hair. It's been such a long time since those last kisses were given, when she left, when she didn't look back. She's moved on now, but she worries as to what happened to him.

now.

THEY SAY HEALING IS A SLOW AND DELICATE PROCESS. They're wrong. It is slow, but the process in itself is frustrating and frightening. It tortures you with waiting, more waiting and never-ending waiting. And ultimately, you can't help but ponder on different things, things that just make everything worse than it already is. How long is this going to take? Will I ever heal? Am I really healing?

Mana takes a deep breath, she's trying so hard to be so much better than before and truth is, she is- she's actually feeling more freedom, breathing more fresh air. It's just that sometimes it feels a little bit lonely. No, not lonely, there's something woeful about her, a void on her heart that's become unsealable now.

lugubrious;

- m o u r n f u l

And there's also the fact that every single person- the whole school, rather- who knows about their breakup, no matter their relationship with Mana would tell her how much it was a shame that a p e r f e c t relationship didn't work out in the end.

Mana doesn't even feel angry, just the littlest hints of annoyed but not truly anger because she knows that those people don't really know anything and they had ignorance to protect them because their relationship was perfect in a way. Perfectly imperfect.

But she shouldn't bother. A day only lasted for twenty four hours, Mana reminded herself endlessly. She'd forget this soon, bury these thoughts and move on.

It's not that she misses Oikawa; it's that she doesn't know what to do and complicated choices have overcame her one by one. She's drowning in all of it and she can't stand back up.

It's also a horrible day for her in terms of education so her foul mood was very evident. The sea of clouds up above, revealing only faint streaks of azure, was her favorite type of appearance for the sky, but she remembers all the horrible things that happened in a day as cloudy as this so a coat of miasma covers her entire visage.

The doors are slightly ajar, acacia things that look so ominous. She tries to breathe, but she is forgetting how to. Her fingers quake as she reaches for the metal handle. It's too late when she intends to turn her back and leave, because the door opens.

And if she forgot to breathe earlier, right now, she's forgetting how to exist. Of all the horrible people to meet in this vast-

Oikawa just stares at her, like he's some benign puppy she didn't hesitate to kick. And then when he passes her, the fabric of his sleeves brush with hers and he winces.

Mana is running out of oxygen.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm not-

And he's gone.

Mana clutches the door handle, uses it to steady her trembling form and it's only when the chime bell rings that she enters the expansive room.