SUPERMARKET FLOWERS ( t. oikawa )

04 | the poisonous lips

"I'M GLAD YOU FOUND THE TIME TO TALK TO ME, SENPAI."

The river below reflects the cloudy sky, the wisps and puffs of grey covering the golden ball of gas. The grass where they lay is soft and ticklish.

"Don't worry about it," she says with a smile, grey eyes gazing upon the larkspurs that bloomed where they lay. "You're my favorite junior afterall."

She can almost hear the soft tinkling of his eyes, the golden stars appearing.

"Mana-senpai, you're a good person," he comments and she can hear him sipping the contents of the carton of milk.

"You're strong and brave, and you're nice. You have imperfections but that doesn't hinder you from helping others. You're perfect in your own way and you're amazing because of that. Remember when you said these things to me? They gave me courage. I want to do the same to you. Give you courage to start loving yourself. Mana-senpai..." he pauses and their eyes are meeting now. Laying on the grass, faces inches apart, the breeze smelling faintly of the poppies and daisies near the sidewalk.

"Why do you let yourself hurt?"

And she tries to look away but his eyes are so soulful. She reminds herself that—

That what?

Mana cannot make up an excuse. He's not the best of speakers and that wasn't the best motivational speech, but his words are soothing every fiber of her body.

Moving.

Too moving, actually.

Tears are damping her pale cheeks, rivulets and rivulets of tears coalescing until they form bodies of water like the one that is only meters apart from them. The river with its graceful currents, splashing and sloshing. Flowing like a gentle caress.

But the emotions churning inside her are violent. Storms of confusion, anger and loneliness. Different colors melding and painting her monochrome thoughts of the still life she possessed.

"You wouldn't understand," she says and it takes almost all of her strength to avert her gaze from him. She curls into a ball, eyes distant. The grass tickles the skin beneath the fabric of her shirt, sending miniscule, fuzzy feelings through her body system.

"I don't," he says. "No one does, because you don't want anyone to."

"Stop it, Tobio-kun," she says and she's clenching her trembling fists now. It takes almost all of her self-restraint to stop the unnecessary palpitations of her heart. Kageyama Tobio is a simpleton, but he's something that Mana can never figure out.

"But it's true. It's not that you don't see it, the fact that he's horrible to you. It's that you choose to avert your eyes from the truth. You deserve much more than this senpai. You kept me going when I almost gave up and I'm going to do the same."

She remembers that time. (And there is a pang in her chest; disappointment coursing through veins because of the fact that he's just doing this to repay a favor of some kind.)

"Let's stop talking about this."

She laughs, a bitter and broken laugh that is meant for no other than her. Telling him he doesn't understand when it's exactly what it is. What a hypocrite.

And he's right actually. And she's tempted to follow him. But she's terrified at the same time. She can't bear to be left behind. If she leaves Oikawa, who will be left to be with her? Who can she stay with? Mana is a sad girl, in this world that takes and takes and she is lonely, but if there's one thing, Mana is not alone. She has Oikawa.