Emotions

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So, Camila's birthday is on its way and I'm not ready, it's not even my birthday and I feel like this.

Fifth Harmony will be here in Philippines. Today (March 2) is their last day in Japan, 3 4 5 is prob their free time or, or, (this is killing me) they will fly here and spend their time until the concert day (March 6)... It's already bad enough that I c..ca..I ca..I can't..That I can't go...*sigh* The thought of them being a few kilometers away from me and yet can't and not be there, is devastating.

I wept last night, blaming myself for being a poor-ass-self.

People might think I'm such an idiot crying for a girl group, well, fudge yourself, sit your lazy idiotic ass and listen to me.
You don't know who they are besides for some 'girl group'.

You don't know how much they mean to me, they're basically a big rock, a big part of me, if I didn't know them 4 years ago, I wouldn't be, me, I wouldn't be this person.

I would be some ignorant and arrogant person pinning people down.

I would be some idiotic ass person who's sitting their butt down on the couch all day instead of being inspired about stuffs, writing songs, playing music, inspiring people.

I would be nothing, I wouldn't be this poem lover person, an accepting person, the person who's iPad has nothing but picture of natures, music, bible verses and quotes.

I would be a self-rejector, I wouldn't be able to accept myself without them.

I would actually be a person agreeing about that stupid ass wall in US, banning people, treating Mexicans as criminals, seeing Muslims as terrorists and African-American people as dirty people, slaves, troublemaker, a different people and all that kinda stuff.

I wouldn't be able to know who I am, that I am something more.

I wouldn't be writing, I wouldn't be dreaming big, I wouldn't be open minded, I would just be an illiterate person walking on Earth.

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I would list all why them made me feel this way, but that would be writing a whole thick book.

Don't kill the flowers, please.