Recount the Seconds (Muke)

Chapter 18

Present - Calum

Plucking the earphone from my left ear, I smile down at Ash, whose head is resting on my shoulder. "Pretty good, right? ...Ash? Ashton."

He stays silent. Noting his limp posture and steady breathing, I grin. Ash isn't often the one to fall asleep during movies -- that's Luke all the way -- but he must be exhausted. And rough as it is to be in this position, seeing Ash like this, expression peaceful, resting against me like he feels safe...it makes me happy. I want him to understand he's safe with me -- I'd never hurt him, and I'll always protect Ash. Rubbing my eyes, I sigh. That's gotta be enough, right?

I begin to feel slightly ill again, remembering why I'm on a plane to Sydney in the first place, remembering how close I was to losing the person -- no, the people -- that matter to me more than anyone else...Don't let yourself get like this, I chide myself. You've gotta stay cheery, for Ash if nothing else...

So maybe it's time to pretend. We can be happy, right?

I fish my phone out of my pocket, careful not to jostle Ashton too much and wake him up. Tapping in my passcode, I hold the phone out in front of us and giggle at Ash's expression. His face is pressed into my neck, hair all over the place. His mouth hangs slightly open, the tiniest of smiles on his lips. 

This helps. If not for our swollen eyes, we might have passed off as the Ash and Calum of...before, I guess. I'm not sure if other people would notice, anyway. While I still have the chance, I snap a picture. 

With the click!, Ash's eyes pop open. 

"Cal?" he mumbles. "What are you doing?"

"Selfie."

"Wha...?"

"Look." I show him my phone. "I had to -- you looked cute." 

Ash smiles a small, sad smile. 

Furrowing my eyebrows, I pull the phone back. "I'm tweeting it."

"What?"

"We'll tell them Cashton won't be outdone by all this Muke shit."

"Cal, that's a bad idea--"

"Oh, c'mon, it's funny!"

"Management won't think so."

"Fuck management! Let them drop us, Ash. I mean yeah, this is a big deal -- all of this -- but I'm glad that Luke and Michael are out there now -- it's about damn time -- and people are actually being really supportive for the most part, and...this could have been handled better -- the break and everything -- but we'll figure it out and we'll keep smiling and joking with the fans like we always have, and Capitol can take us or leave us." 

"Calum, we had everything in front of us, and I couldn't--"

"Have. We have everything in front of us, okay? Mikey's basically back, and Luke's getting better, and you can get better too -- you've done it before, and I'm here for you this time, okay? I care about you, Ash. I care about you so fucking m...We'll get through our personal issues. We will. And we can stop worrying about the band and our careers right now, okay? The fans -- the fam got us this far, and they won't let us down, but that means us being good to them, and not abandoning them even when we're down." 

I glance over at Ash. Tears are welling in his eyes. 

Fuck, did I say the wrong thing?

Then, he nods and slowly tucks his head under my jawline again. "Okay," he whispers. 

I wrap my arm around him, squeezing his arm gently. "I'm posting the damn selfie."