Let Love Bleed Red

Chapter 21

*Eoghan’s P.O.V.*

“Eoghan.. I’m breaking up with you..” My eyes widened, my jaw dropped and my hands fell limply to my sides in shock. Did she really just say that..?

 “You’re-you’re breaking up with me..?” My voice sounded dead, rid of all emotion. I barely trusted myself to speak. I felt so shocked and hurt. Had I done something wrong? “W-why?”

“I’m s-sorry Eoghan.. I love you s-so m-much it hurts. But t-there’s someone else I love j-just as m-much, and they need m-m m-more than you d-do..” Someone else?? What?? Was Ash cheating on me..? The girl I loved, the girl I wanted to marry and have a future with loved someone else. It felt like my heart had shattered in my chest.

 I looked at Ash, tears flowing down her face, onto the sand below. She was so beautiful.. Beautiful, yet deadly.  “Every angel is terrifying.”  Suddenly I felt angry.

 “What do you mean ‘they need you more’? Is there another guy? Because no one needs you more than I do Ashley!!! I love you, I fucking love you, with every fibre of my being!!! I want to be with you for the rest of my life, I want to marry you!!!” I was shouting at her, but meaning every word I said

 “Eoghan that’s not what I.. You don’t understand! I love you too!!! I need you too!!! You have been the thing that made my life living these past two years! You saved my life!!”

She started yelling too but I just turned away from her. “Sure, I saved you’re life. And look how you repay me, by falling in love with someone else and breaking my heart.” I was muttering under my breath.

I felt something tug on my hoodie sleeve and I turned. Ash’s soft lips crashed against mine, tears streaming down her cheeks, kissing me as if her life depended on it. The phrase one last time came into my thoughts and I started crying as I kissed her back, one hand in her windswept hair, the other in the small of her back.

Eventually she pulled away and we looked into each other’s eyes. “I love you Eoghan, and I’m so sorry.. I wish this was different.. You’re going to make some lucky girl very happy someday. But I want you to promise me something.” Ash was speaking quietly, but firmly. “I want you to promise me that you will move on. Forget about me, go to college, get a good job. Live your life. Promise me that, please..”

If I loved her, which I did, I had to let her go, let her be happy. That didn’t mean I was going to forget her.. I gave the slightest nod anyway and she gave me a small smile before turning away. I watched as she picked up her red converse, pull them on and walk up the sand to the path, where she walked away.

I watched her until I couldn’t see her anymore, then I walked slowly to the ‘our’ cave. It smelt damp and salty in there. I walked a little way in, stopping at the spot where we had carved our initials inside a heart onto the wall. I gently stroked the heart, tears welling up in my eyes.

I sat beside the cave wall, my back against it. I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes, tears seeping through my closed lashes. I couldn’t get over it, the fact that she was really gone. I felt hollow, empty, incomplete without her. I had meant it when I said I needed her..

A long time past before I got up and slowly trudged home. I would try and keep my promise to Ash. I would go to college as planned, get a job, have a life. Maybe meet another girl.. I hoped Ash was going to be happy; if she was that would be enough for me. Just that.

I could delete her phone number, all the pictures of us together, throw away all her things if she didn’t come back for them, but I couldn’t erase her from my heart or head. And if she was happy then that would make me feel a little better..

At the moment though I didn’t feel like I was going to feel better for a very long time.