Looking for the Lighthouse

Still Stuck in the Present

I smell pancakes and bacon. It's usually the only reason why I get up earlier than 8:30. I know if I don't hurry, my dad will eat them all, and I'll be left with the tiny ones from the end of the batter.

Quickly grabbing my sweatshirt, I throw it on and race downstairs.

"Good morning!" I smile brightly at my parents in the kitchen.

My mom looks up from the paper and my dad turns around from the stove, where he's finishing up the bacon.

"Hi darling! You're up early!" My mom says, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yeah duh, pancakes!" Walking over to the stack of already made banana chocolate chip circles of happiness, I start to make a plate. With the amount of pancakes this family eats, I wouldn't be surprised if we were named the International House of Syrup Towels. 

"Have you guys seen my green sweater anywhere?"

"Wasn't it in the hamper? That's where I saw it last." My mom says, a crease forming between her eyebrows.

"Okay I'll go look, thanks."

After running around, getting ready for school, I jog back down the stairs to grab some bacon.

Only there isn't any bacon, there aren't any pancakes, and my parents aren't there.

"Mom? Dad?" I call. Maybe they just stepped into another room.

Looking around the first floor, I come up with nothing. Beginning to worry, I call out again.

"C'mon guys, this isn't funny! You have to come out now!" No response.

"They're gone Jaime." A deep voice from behind me says.

I yelp at the sudden break in quiet. Whipping my head around to the newcomer, I see the sheriff.

"What do you mean they're gone?! They can't be gone! They were just here." My voice is climbing and I'm beginning to feel lightheaded.

"I'm sorry Jaime. You're parents have disappeared. We're doing everything we can but there are no leads." The Sheriff gives me a look of such pity and sadness. It's enough to make me lose my mind.

My head starts to pound, "No. No! That can't be! They were just here. Where did you take them? Where did they go?" I yell at the officer, panicking. My breathing is rattled, and my head is spinning. 

"They're gone." I hear. Over and over the tantalizing statement leaves me feeling all kinds of messed up. 

I can see the floor coming at me fast, as I collapse to the ground.

"Jaime!! Jaime wake up! It's just a nightmare!" I'm shaken awake, and realization dawns on me. It was just another dream. Doesn't make it any less painful though.

"Yeah. I'm up Addie." Quickly swiping away my tears, I sit up in bed. The room is hot, and I realize that I've been sweating profusely. Before my aunt can fret over me, I quickly hop up and turn the water on in the shower. 

"You were yelling again, Jaime. That's the third time this week. I really think you should go back-"

"No. I am not going back to the shrink, Addie. You now what happened last time." I give her a level stare, hoping to convey my seriousness. 

"Because you only stayed there for a month! Jaime you have to give the doctor a chance to help you move on." In a lower voice she adds, "Please, Jaims. I don't know what to do anymore." I know this is meant to make me concede, but she just doesn't understand how painful therapy was last time. I relived that day over and over, trying to figure out what I did wrong to end up an orphan. Prying at the layers of my subconscious is a one-way road to insanity.