Serenity

Life Is Pleasant. Death Is Peaceful. It's The Transition That's Troublesome.

*2 weeks later*

I could hear the footsteps behind me as I ran through my backyard. Someone was following me, for what reason I didn't know. I could feel my muscles screaming at me to slow down but I refused to let the stalker capture me. Come on, Francesca. Keep going, I screamed to myself silently, never slowing my pace. I ignored the soles of my feet aching, sending sharp fiery pains up my legs into my heart, making me gasp for air.

Excitement sprang up inside of me when I could finally spot my house. Almost there, almost there I continuously kept chanting not wanting to give up so close to victory. As the hard thuds of the foot steps grew closer, I pushed past all the unbearable roaring of my limbs and hustled past the trees until my foot got caught on a tree limb, making me immediately fall to the rough ground. The dirt was slightly wet from the rain the day before, making my body fringed. I tried straining my arms to move, to push me up but they didn't move. I didn't maneuver finally letting myself feel the tears that raced down my cheeks.

I was going to die. That was going to be the end of Francesca Atles. I was sure of it. I clenched my eyes closed not wanting to see my attacker take me. I felt icy cold hands reach my arm, gripping so hard it just about cut off the circulation, dragging my flimsy body up.

" You're mine now." The male voice was scratchy, sending shivers of panic down my spine. The man spit salvia into my face he was close to me. "Don't worry, Francesca. I'll take good care of you."

I took a deep labored breath, excepting that I was a goner. It's okay, you'll get to be with momma. More tears emerged from behind my eyes, half sad, half joyful.

"It's okay. I'm ready."

---***---

I slammed my eyes open, my heart racing franticly. I sat up straight, trying to depict where I was, finally realizing I was in my room sitting on top of my mattress. I sighed in relief because I was just dreaming. I pushed all the tears back that were begging to escape from my eyes. Another nightmare. I've been having them more frequently every since my mother's funeral. Always the same dream, always a completely different ending.

I stood up, my legs shaking uncontrollably as I made my way across the hall to my bathroom. As I turned on the lights, a beam of brightness almost blinded me. I opened my cabinet, searching for my trazodone that my shrink prescribed me as the only antidote for a restless night. Closing the cabinet door, I caught my reflection in the mirror shuttering at the woman staring back at me. You could see the obvious torment in my entrancing turquoise eyes. My curly chestnut colored hair cascaded down my shoulders, falling right above my hipbone. I looked just like my mother.

I glanced away before the tears could start coming again. Not tonight, I thought to myself as I walked back to my bedroom and crawled back into bed. I pulled my covers all the way up over my head, shutting my eyes, begging for some sleep before the sun rose again.

---***---

I awaken out of the deep nightmare free slumber that I was in to endure the last day of senior year. I laid awake in my bed just reminiscing on everything that had happened this past year, from being one of the most popular girls at  Oak Grove high, to being the most depressed girl since my mothers death. I rethink even going the last day, but I knew if I skipped out my best friend Adam, would be extremely disappointed in me and I've already disappointed enough people in a whole lifetime by this point.

I finally convinced myself to rise out of bed and go put on my last day for school outfit which consisted of a black velvet dress that reached to my mid thigh which I matched with a pair of black ankle boots. My hair was going to go in a messy bun that day and light mascara, not wanting to look too much like a barbie doll.  I grimaced at myself in the mirror, but not really caring by now about my attire.

"Frannie, are you ready? Adam's waiting for you outside." My father shouted from downstairs like he always does before school even though I had an hour to make it there. I think he just liked having a little bit of alone time before work to get himself prepared for the day, to cry without anyone knowing. I knew though, I always knew when he had been having a bad day just by the pain etched on his face. The same kind of pain that I carried around with me too.

"Yeah dad, I'm coming." I glanced one more time at my reflection before rushing across the room to where my backpack was, grabbing it and making my way down the stairs.

My father's blank expression turned into a wide smile when he noticed me marching down the stairs.

"You look beautiful, sweetheart. Just like your mother." His eyes went dark as he said this but the smile remained.

"She would have been so proud of you. I can't believe she isn't here to see this day." He got choked up on the last sentence and had to turn away for a second, I knew to wipe his face off. He didn't like me seeing him weak, but I understood. I always understood.

A lump came up in my throat, my eyes burned to release the tears I've been trying to keep at bay all night, but I knew if I let even one slip out, I would never be able to pull myself back together.

"Dad, I know. It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay." I uttered the words to him trying to convince myself of what I was saying. I stumbled over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, my head still fitting right below his chin.

"We're going to get through this. I know we will." I whispered to him as he pulled me tightly into his chest.

"I hope so." My father's voice sounded broken but hopeful at the same time. "Now, get out there.  Adam's been here for over 20 minutes now." He kissed my cheek and pushed me towards the door. 

"And Frannie," I turned back towards him waiting for him to finish what he was going to say.

"I am so proud of you." He spoke the words with so much tenderness as if he knew how hard this was going to be for me as well.

"I love you, dad" I just wanted him to know that no matter what, I would always love my father and that we were going to both make it through  the heartbreaking circumstance that we have been faced with.

"I know." His voice completely dead. " I love you too."