i was Abused and rejected but now i'm wanted

Losing my sanity

Caterina:

Today has been nothing but so much fun..

We have done nothing but mess around in our little onesies, then all the older kids...well basically all the adults went to go and play in the play room with the kids in the pack.

We all baked food and had food fights.

But.....

Of course all of our fun came to an end when everyone started to sense something was off on the pack grounds.

"Rouges are on the west side of the territory, we have had our fun today we need to deal with this." Said Ryder instantly letting his alpha side take control.

It was kinda sexy when he did that im not gonna lie.

I had just opened the door to go outside, that is until i was met with a rouge jumping at me trying to take my head off.

I was caught off guard and now im panicking.

"Get off.......please......get off of me.....GET OFF OF ME!!" I screamed so loud my vision started to blur.

I couldn't concentrate on my breathing because it was to mich going on there were rouges running around all over the house, i could hear all of the fighting which was making me freak out even more.

I started to breathe really heavy, my palms were getting sweaty. I was crying like a little baby.

At that very moment i was everything i never wanted to be again.

Broken

Sad

And scared

"No we need to fight back cat, i will not let you be this way anymore you have to fight back...please" blossom is yelling in my head but my body was starting to give up.

"CAT GET UP" blossom was yelling at me but it wasnt working i was slowly giving in.

No, this is not what is supposed to happen i have to get back up.....i mist get back up.

My breathing slowly decreased and my vision is going clear again and i can see the rouge pretty well now....but theres only one problem i find wrong about this rouge.

And the problem is that I slightly feel bad for it.

Why you may ask well because......

Im pissed

I feel rage fill my veins. Im pissed because these rouges just busted through the house like there isnt shit wrong with that.

Im furious because these rouges are trying to hurt the people i love.

And finally im seething because they caught me off guard and made me feel weak.

I lift the rouge off of me and it suddenly doesn't feel powerful anymore. I snap its neck and move on to the next.

I felt so powerful. My feeling increased with every body that dropped that stood in my way.

Every life i took made me feel amazing, that scares me because i should not feel good about killing people.

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After all of the drama that had happened I finally calmed down from my high and i walked to my room, praying that no one had seen me.

I was drenched in blood and i didnt like it, i smelled like blood. I feel like i scarred my own brain with the things that i did.

I can still see the hurt in those that i killed eyes, some of them begged and pleaded for me not to kill them, but i wasnt me anymore i was someone else, someone i don't recognize.

I feel tears rolling down my eyes. It has never gotten that bad before. Yes its happened before where i lost control and my whole demeanor shifted into a killing monster that bot even my mate can control.

I walked to my bathroom and got into the shower and i sobbed while trying to scrub all of the death and blood off of my skin till it turned red then I decided to get out and that i have had enough.

I walked to my closet and grabbed some shorts and a huge shirt, then i went to lay down, i let the darkness overcome me.

........................................................

"Cat c'mon you need to wake up."
Said a soft voice.

"Its just royalty." Said blossom alerting me of the person in the room.

"Ok im up" i said feeling drained and tired, but im only getting up for food little do they know.

I rolled out of my personal heaven, then i walked downstairs to the kitchen.

When i walked in i saw ryder, trent, and josh sitting at the island, along with everyone else.

"Good morning guys" i said while lazily walking to the fridge.

"Hey cat can i talk to you in my office please." Ruder asked looking extremely worried.

"Yea i guess" me and ryder got up and walked to his office I followed behind but i was getting scared of what was to come when we got to his office.

We got to his office and ryder opened the door and let me enter first.

I sat in one of the cozy seats in front of his desk. "What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked very timid like.

"Umm...well i wanted to know how you were feeling, you scared me when you started panicking but i couldnt get to you, i...I thought something ha...happened to you." Ryder was near tears and i was at a lost for words as was blossom.

"Ryder i am so sorry for making you feel that way, i was just kind of caught off guard i wasnt really ready to be jumped at. Its just after...." i trailed off not wanting to bring up past troubles.

"If you dont wanna talk about it I understand but now i need to know if you are....umm gonna maybe come back to this pack to be luna? If your not ready I understand." Ryder said scratching the back of his neck.

"Uhh...well... i...uhh...dont know yet." Im very shocked that he actually wants me to come back.

He was the one that told me to leave.

Ugh, im losing my sanity.

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Hey buttercups i have been taking forever with my updates i know but i just couldnt come up with any new ideas but im starting to get back into the groove now. The next update will be soon I promise.

Love you buttercups ❤️

Lovelybabyonly 😘