You and I. Together - A Pokéspe fanfiction

22. Surprise

The words that were spoken in this very room felt like a deafening alarm to my ears. He was with me just yesterday. Not even 24 hours had passed yet so much had happened. The sirens, the noise, the ruckus and the restlessness of the entire school, it all made sense now. My blood ran cold and I could feel my heart stop as the realization dawned on me. I could've died yesterday if I went along with him.

Or would he have lived if I didn't leave him alone?

The teacher had just told us something had happened to Gold last night. She told us that he wouldn't be going to this school anymore but, we all knew what that meant. She looked like she knew more than she was telling us. Even my mother had warned me that the city was getting more dangerous each day. Memories of news reports on the TV, even the radio, and newspapers flashed through my mind. 

The more I thought about it, the quicker I noticed how strangely content I was about it. No tears, no hyperventilating. Was I in shock?

Crystal, on the other hand, seemed like she was about to break. Like a glass slipper being put under the weight of an obese woman, jumping up and down until it eventually breaks and ruins said lady's feet. It's a weird analogy, I know.

''I don't understand,'' she uttered, her voice trembling.

And that's all she said that day.

My bag hit the floor with a loud thud as I dropped it next to the couch. My mom watched me intently as I slumped around the house. I didn't respond to her gaze as I opened the cupboard and grabbed some type of biscuit from some insignificant brand and went upstairs to my room.  I drop myself onto my bed to sit on it with my back rested against the wall. My hand reaches for the pair of earbuds on my nightstand and I put them in to listen to anything other than silence.

''I don't need anyone,'' I thought as I heard music blasting through my ears. There wasn't anyone that could cheer me up anymore. Yellow had passed away last month, Blue doesn't want to associate with us anymore and Crystal was a mess. But I was going to be fine, I've done it before so it was going to be okay. I'm alright, I just need a minute, that's all I need.

Except it wasn't.

I chuckled as the first tears started to trickle down my face. I clutched my phone in my right hand and let my left hand move along the damp spots on my face. I was talking to myself. I felt... I don't know how I felt. All I remember was my finger, shakily hovering over the DELETE CONTACT button.

I pressed the button only to hope that I wouldn't regret it later. But why would I? There was no reason to have a dead person's contacts on my phone. So, I deleted Yellow too, she was gone. I deleted Blue too, I don't need her anymore. It was so tempting to delete them all but, before I could delete Crystal I already sobered up.

I let out a shaky sigh, unplugged my earbuds and tossed my phone aside. I turned my body and lied down on my bed. Closing my eyes lightly, I let my thoughts run by. One by one.

Could I have saved him?

To take things realistically, probably not. Death was a beast I would never want to face in such a way. Death was a bastard who took the ones I loved. Death didn't care about my friends as it took away their lives.

But I couldn't help but feel like it was somehow my fault. As if I was towering over him with some kind of weapon, watching him being cornered by me and then physically stabbing him in the chest myself. The knife tearing into his flesh as blood poured out and stained not only his clothes but mine as well. He'd cry out for help and beg me to stop before dropping to the floor, lifeless.

A corpse lies down in front of me in the dark. The sound of a knife dropping to the floor echoes through the living room and I stare.

There is blood on my hands.

I murdered my best friend.

And then I open my eyes to my bedroom ceiling. I quickly sit up and look at my hands. They were clean, it was just a dream. I just fell asleep. I didn't do anything. I didn't kill him.

Reality had escaped me for a while and then my subconscious just had to take over and convert those fears into nightmares. My mind is cloudy and my movements were sluggish. In other words, I felt like shit. The clock read 8 PM and I had missed dinner, but no one was there to wake me up or put a blanket over me.

That was fine, I wanted to be alone for a while anyway.

But then I heard my phone ring and smiled as I saw that Green had texted me.

865 words

So, I don't know if I should censor curse words or not? Because I think that I've been pretty inconsistent with them anyway and I don't think that the curse words in this story are the biggest thing to worry about.

I also apologize for not updating this as regularly as I'd like to and probably as regularly as you'd like it to be updated. I'm just really busy with school and making art so, I kind of let writing go. But I will finish this story if it's in 2018 or 2055.

Bye for now!

~Pencil