Back to the Ground

•39•

When we finally arrived home from the Golden Globes I paced for a solid 10 minutes.
"Hanna, can we talk about this?" I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked at him for a few seconds before I walked over to the bathroom and took of my dress and put on some sweats. I came back out and flopped on my bed.
"Okay let's talk."
"How do you feel about the kiss being seen?"
"Finn, don't be stupid. I'm clearly not overjoyed."
"Was the kiss that bad?"
I laughed lightly.
"No, it's not that. It's just that I've enjoyed this time of our relationship being private. It's been really fun."
"I understand that Hanna. But we also have to remember that it's kinda our fault. We were the ones who kissed. We should have realized that at least one camera was rolling and we could have been seen. I'm ready to make it public again, but if you're not I'll wait. I'm also here if you want to talk about it."
I sat back against the headboard. My thoughts were racing. Did I want to make it public? Could we say that it was a friendly kiss? Is a friendly kiss a thing? Should I make him wait any longer to make it public again? Would people be accepting? What would my mom say? What did all the celebrities say? Is there any articles out about us yet? Is it really our fault? I had so many questions. I started To cry because I'm an over emotional wreck of a person.
"Hanna. Sweetie, I didn't mean to make you cry. What did I say?"
"It-It's not y-y-you Finn. I'm just overwhe-whe-whelmed. Can I have the night to think about it?"
"Yeah, for sure. Here, get under the covers. Get some sleep, it's been a long night." I leaned my back against his chest, making myself the little spoon. And just when I had begun to doze off, my heart was filled.

"Hanna. I don't know if you can hear this, or if you're asleep. If you can hear this that's okay, if you can't that's okay too. When I got on that flight, Quincy jokingly said I hope you sit next to the love of your life. And little did he know that that's what would happen. You were so funny and cute and I was already crushing even though I hardly knew you. I remember the first thing I noticed about you is how infectious your laugh is. It's so unique and funny to hear. You're also incredibly beautiful but not the way other people are. You have all around beauty. You're so intelligent and beautifully spoken, the vibe you give off is so welcoming and you're physically beautiful too. I'm so lucky to have you because you put up with all of my bullshit. I love your kisses and I love how much you love me. You love me with such patience and adoration. You drive me crazy Hanna. I hope you know that. Thank you so much for all you do, because honestly no one else would do it. I love you so goddamn much. If you can hear me I don't need or want a reaction, I just want you to know how much you mean to me. If you can't hear me, well I still said it." And then he chuckled a little. "Goodnight my love."

This kinda tied my night together and made me more excited for my life with Finn. But This is the stuff I love, the private and intimate moments. This just made my decision harder.