❝Broken Hearted Me❞

~ Chapter XIII ~

Recentful
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My heart drummed rolling into deep, crushing, seeing my boyfriend smiled, who doesn't know everything I did. I'm such a big fat liar. Smiling back against his jealousness, pretending everything will be alright, but honestly everything inside me colapse.

He held my hand and kiss it, it makes me felt afraid, afraid of what I have done, afraid of him to hate me. He was blind of being fooled. Yes. I fooled him to make him felt better, I fooled him so he wouldn't noticed I'm restless from my own crime, so he wouldn't be angry, so he wouldn't leave me.

His face was dark, and only shadow I saw when I tried to look at those eyes. He don't want me to see he envied me.  His lips curves to frown and it made me more anxious. It got my heart tore teribly.

My eyes were getting wet, one by one my tears begun to falls, but I manage to keep it in secret. Again I was fooling him. Even fooled myself. I faced everyone with gentled charming eyes, sparkling. And everytime I am alone I can't help but to cry.

I was hurt of my own sin, hurt of allowing myself to done those things, and yet I didn't mean everything to happened. Among all, he was the one I would cared, I would never wanted to hurt. Guess I disobeyed my own self.

The sun was still bright when we arrived at their private beach resort. It was a surprise Ghellen was preparing about, and it aimed me burning inside, guilty. After all I'd done, he had a kind heart surprising me even sweeter than I thought.

Ghellen pulled my hand and brought me near to the shore. My heart pound drumming again when I saw table with red mantle, two wooden chair, probably we're going to sit there, it was surrounded with white roses and my favorite flower Tulips.

He stood infront of me, took my shoes away and we walked in barefoot. I could feel the sand on my feet, as the sun rays numb my skin, and a feeling of excitements. Ghellen smiled a little, seriously drag me into his arms, quietly calming himself from his jealousness.

My tears begun rolling down at the side of my cheeks silently, mutter in the air asking his forgiveness. He didn't look at me back, he couldn't, and I know he was really upset.

He pulled the chair to make me sitdown, and drag his chair to sit beside me. After awhile, we only looked at the waves with silence. Not a single hi or hello, no talk, no compliment.

I was observing him from time to time, he was there, but I'm not sure if I'm with him. He avoided to look at me again, I kept denying theres nothing wrong, but I know I really did wrong. If only I could tell him I'm sorry.

We sat there just to see the waves, until I noticed the water slowly coming out soaking my feet, it was cold at first, then I forget to care I was quivering, all I just did is to look at Ghellen, the whole time.

He stood, and stared too far, away from me. Why he would love to look at the waves than me?. Again, I felt hurt, I felt every single sadness the waves gone through me. I felt Ghellen's heart, cold and angry.

Moments later, music begun to played. Violins and saxophones, sung to my ears, crowded with musicians, then later the food were served. The set up would be a romantic dinner date, a date that I thought we would be drowning from the waves, but surprisingly it made my heart to shreik.

He took my hand firmly, make me stood as  the sunset mirrored at the ocean. It was a great view looking at sun going down. The skies slowly starting to be dark, and theres a candles that were set to light us up. I was ashamed when he asked me to dance with him, but can't hide the urge to accept it, that brought me insane.

His hand pulled me closer to him, my breath slow down the moment I saw his brown eyes, overwhelmed, that cought me in tears again. He was so serious, like a grown man lost his humour, but he was candidly irresistible!

"Uhhghh.." I uttered, couldn't hide I'm  becoming to be sensual in his gentledness. I forgot all my sorrows, my pain, my regrets. I forgot those things which should be not. I  forgot I randomly swayed upon his touch.

I hug him so tight, I don't want to lose him in my life. So I decided to tell him the truth, about things that shouldn't
be, I must be honest cause that how long relationship works.

"Ghellen... Theres something I want to tell you.."

"Toffeah.." he kissed me ravishly, all I do is to stared wide eyed open, shocked, drummed my heart to fall once again. My inside burst, conquered with alot of emotions, profounded by his deeds.

"Not now.. I want this evening to be memorable.."

"Not now." Lifting my chin, with husky voice, pleading.

I nod, clossing my eyes and begun kissing him again, putting my arms around his nape, flexing my feet point to reach his level, I hardly make an effort to do it, stretching my neck cause he was really tall. He wrap his arms around my waiste and carry me up so I could kiss him comfortably.

I heard claps and whistle in between the music, it was his friends who supported him to accomplished this romantic dinner date. I felt nervous, and quivering, thinking his retard twin would be there and accompanied us. NO!

I never looked at them back, I just kissed Ghellen again and he locked me up for a few seconds, feeling high of a kissed I wish althrough out my entire years. I would die without it, without him. We were like some scene in a movie, it ended kissing but were about to start our own.

And among all the days I was with him, this day was the strangest. Today he was different, the first time I saw him being so serious, he who always mocked me eversince, and now I'm missing it.

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Next Chapter ~ Compulsive