Forgotten By Time (Book Three - The Double Era Series)

Chapter Three

"She's... Leaking through, Martha," the Doctor phoned his friend as I slept, "Little bits and pieces of previous thoughts are leaking into her memory, but she doesn't remember then as memories. They're more like... Suggestions. On top of that, she still talks in her sleep, but like a categorising system that's checking how much damage has been done." He listened carefully for a moment to see if he could pick up on what I was saying as I slept just then.

"Eternity box 6. Empty," I relaid, "Back-up system... Not Available. Eternity box 7..."

"That's good!" Martha optimised, "Maybe she'll start to remember about her Time Lord heritage, Doctor."

"That could never happen, Martha," the Doctor turned down, "The Prophecy is to intertwined with her heritage... She can never remember any of it. If she does, we'll have to start the whole thing over again, Martha. I can't do that... I can't keep killing her."

"But... She's not dead, Doctor," Martha stated.

"Physically, no," the Doctor sighed, "Physically, she is perfectly healthy... A little to healthy, in fact. In every other sense, though... She's dead. She can never again remember the sunsets of Gallifrey or the tedious hours of Untempered Schisms. She can't remember the first time a boy kissed her or how she's nine hundred and eight. None of it can be remembered. What's worse, Martha, is that I couldn't just toss her memories. No. I couldn't just do that to her, so I stored them in my own mind for safe keeping. I remember everything she's ever done in her entire life, Martha. Every emotion. Every action. Every hope and dream. All of it. I can remember all of it."

"I don't understand why she can't have her memories back," Martha said, "I can tell it hurts you to see her like this, but isn't there any other way?"

Every time I look at her, Martha," the Doctor whispered through the phone, "Every time I look into those eyes, they always look like they've been drugged into submission. They're stuck in sadness, but it's like a fogged over kind of sadness... Like she doesn't really know why she's sad. Every time I look at her, I mentally beg her, will her, to remember, but she never can because if she does, she'll remember something that could destroy the universe. Possibly all of existence. She can never remember, Martha Jones, so I'm stuck forever knowing that I killed a Time Lord."

"She... She can still regenerate, though," Martha advised, "she's still got two hearts... You could teach her again. Over write the previous information that you wiped clean. It could work, Doctor."

"It's not that easy, Martha," the Doctor choked out, "When I wiped her memory, I also had to remove the voice of regeneration inside her head. If I wanted, I could demonstrate to her and then take the place of her voice of regeneration. The problem is, I don't know how many times I'd have to do it before she'd pick up on how to do it. Already, she's a full life behind me. On top of that, I'd have to be there at exactly the right time to tell her to regenerate. If I'm even one second to late, her systems won't except me as a voice of regeneration. It can come in any form, true, but not just whenever. If I miss my mark, she'll never activate her second heart. I just can't do it all, Martha. She's as dead as any Time Lord she killed and I know it... And I know it's all my fault."