Musically in Love

Chapter 13

McKinley's POV

I hated hospitals. Nothing good ever comes of them. It was in a hospital that I was told I had broken my arm in third grade and could never climb trees again. It was a hospital that kept McKenzie for a week when we were in sixth grade after she got an infection from getting her tonsils out. It was a hospital that my aunt died in when I was a senior in high school. I didn't want to see my uncle in the hospital too.

I wish I had realized this back when I was still at the diner with Tyler instead of outside the room Mark was in, unable to open the door and go inside. Mom had gone in and I knew my sisters and Steph were also in there. I just couldn't bare to see him lying on that bed, even though he was going to be fine.

I sighed, removing my hand from the door knob. Then, spotting a chair down the hall a bit, I went and sat in it.

Uncle Mark means so much to me. As my mom's brother, he was there from the moment my dad left her before my sisters and I were even born. He's been there through everything. He's been there for me. He was the first person I told about being gay when I was thirteen because I knew I could trust him completely. He was the only father figure and, frankly, male role model I have ever known - strong and fearless and amazing. Seeing him in that bed would shatter that image of him and I wasn't ready for that.

I felt pathetic. Why couldn't I go see my own uncle?

A hand on my shoulder startled me. I looked up to see my cousin standing next to me, a small smile on her face. "Your mom said you were out here."

I nodded. What was there to say? That I was afraid of going in there? That I couldn't bring myself to even open the door?

Steph sat down in the chair on my right. "He's okay," she said. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "What's wrong with me, Steph? Why can't I go in there?"

She didn't answer me. I guess that was a good thing because she could have said a whole bunch of things that I didn't want to hear. I knew I had my issues.

My issues expanded over everything in my life. From hospitals to my dating life. Why did I ever think it was a good idea to be with Tyler? He is a much better person than I could ever be. He didn't deserve me, someone who ran out in the middle of dates and couldn't even open the door to the hospital room his uncle was in. Tyler deserved better, someone a whole lot less selfish than me.

I pulled out my phone and found Tyler's contact. Opening a new message, I typed: Hey, it's McKinley. I'm really sorry, but I don't think I can come on Wednesday. I hit send before I could reconsider.

I knew I was doing it again - ruining something good - but it was for the best this way. It wasn't a break up, not technically. I'm not that much of a jerk that I would do that over text. We also weren't really together. I just didn't know when I'd see him again and I didn't want to have that conversation with him at his friend's barbecue to celebrate the country's birthday.

"What's the real reason you can't go in there?" Steph asked quietly. I was glad she didn't see the message I just sent. "I know you know why."

I shook my head, not wanting to say it out loud. When she crossed her arms and gave me a look, I knew there was no getting out of it. "Your mom. I keep picturing her in those last couple of days. I didn't want to walk into the same situation. I don't want to lose him too. I can't, Steph."

She reached over and pulled me into a hug. "Believe me, if anything like that was happening, I'd be a bawling mess right now. But I'm not. Because he's fine."

I nodded against her shoulder. I knew she was right. I just didn't want to get up right now.

"So how about we go in, okay? Before I drag you in there by the ears."

I shot up, on my feet before her words fully processed in my brain. I did not need her forcing me to do anything. That could get very scary.

Steph was right there next to me as we walked towards the room. She was the one to open the door before pushing me through first.

There, on the bed in the middle of the room, was Uncle Mark. He looked as normal as possible, aside from the small tube attached to his arm. I breathed out a sigh of relief at the sight of him. It wasn't nearly as bad as I was envisioning. Of course it wasn't.

"Hi," I said awkwardly as my entire family looked at me.

"I'm so glad you're here," Mark said, patting the bed on his left for me to sit down, since all of the chairs were taken. "I've missed you, my favorite nephew."

I chuckled, shaking my head as I sat. "I'm your only nephew. Are you doing okay?"

The door closed behind me and that's when I realized everyone had left us alone. I guess that was a good thing, but I was definitely not expecting it to happen.

"I'm okay, Micky, I am," he said. "My chest is a little sore, but that's normal. I'm coming back home tomorrow."

"I was so worried," I whispered, grabbing hold of his hand. "I didn't want to lose you."

He smiled, squeezing my hand slightly. "You won't. Not for a long time, okay?"

I nodded, not saying anything else. There were no words to say. The silence wasn't even an awkward silence, just a content moment between an uncle and his nephew.

Eventually, my mom came back into the room, ending our private moment. I didn't mind too much, she had that food with her and, thankfully, there was enough for me too.

Looking at my whole family cramped into a tiny hospital room, I realized that I was right when I sent that text to Tyler. Yeah, Uncle Mark was going to be okay, but I needed my whole focus to be on my family, nothing else. At least for the time being.

I pulled out my phone to find a response from Tyler: I understand. How's your uncle?

I put my phone back in my pocket without answering. Focusing on my family started now.