Persuasion

Dive

I sat in Collin's apartment watching the clock, the guys had insisted I stay. Either for celebration or comfort Finn reasoned. Stay and sleep Collin assured me. We don't want you to leave us yet Robert admitted. So I stayed. I fell asleep on the couch while they went to the airport and I tried to fight the urge to run. Maybe it wasn't my earlobes that resembled my father but how I wanted to run whenever things got difficult. In the argument of fight or flight, my response was almost always flight. So I tried to channel my mother's strength and stubbornness, but in reality embracing the crippling paralysis of fear and I stayed. I needed to fight, and I kept repeating it over and over to convince myself to stay. The three guys came back bringing comfort food and booze, he had to go to a family dinner they explained. I told them my stomach wouldn't settle when they passed around the bottle, which passed as a reasonable excuse if not an actual truth. They were nervous, even though they assured me that he would be there Finn's face told a different story. The mood grew increasingly somber as the hours passed and there was no sign of him. The guys got quieter, to match me. They stopped trying to build me up and went directly to protective mode.

"He'll come love" Finn said trying to comfort me.

"I'm sure he's just running late" Robert said.

"Probably got stuck talking shop with Mitchum" Collin added.

"Yeah" was all I could manage to say trying to stay positive but with each passing minute, my heart sank. He wasn't coming.

I crossed my legs in the arm chair and hugged a pillow close to my chest. Collin put his hand on my shoulder and Finn kissed me on the top of my head. My pitifulness like a magnet that was pulling them to touch me and ease my pain. I was glad they were here and I with them. I too easily fall apart when I'm alone. They helped keep me from crumbling into a million pieces, if only just barely.

I didn't even hear him come into the apartment, but I heard his voice. "Hey guys, want to give us a minute?"

"Sure thing" Robert said patting Logan on the back of the shoulder as he walked by him.

"We'll be right downstairs if you need anything" Colin said giving my shoulder a squeeze before he exited.

"Give him hell" Finn whispered to me and sauntered out of the room.

He didn't say anything, just stood in uncomfortable silence until I finally had the courage to break it. "You got my letter?" I asked looking down. Unable to bring myself to look him in the eyes.

"I'm here aren't I?" his voice was ragged.

I finally looked up, I could see the sadness in his eyes. He was standing by the fireplace. I got up and walked towards him. He turned away from me, I could smell the scotch on his breath.

"Logan" I said touching his arm softly.

"Why didn't you tell me Rory?" he asked sharply.

"I couldn't, you're engaged" I returned.

"You could have told me. You could have tried. You just gave up and walked away."

"You walked away too Logan. You wanted to keep me in a hotel or in your family's house in Maine, and what slip away when the wife was out of town? I wasn't going to be your Marion Davies."

"You were the one that wanted the Vegas agreement" he snapped at me.

"Oh I didn't want the Vegas agreement I wanted you" I said turning away frustrated.

"Well I didn't want it either. Why did you even suggest it?" he started pacing.

"What was I supposed to say 'Logan, forget your beautiful French heiress fiancée and be with me?" I asked incredulously.