Poems and stuff

An Ode to Forbidden Things

There was something almost sinister about you

Right? Is that an appropriate word to use?

It wasn't sinister to me of course, but to everyone else you were, let's see, a dictator almost

I am merely the patriotic rebel writing in her cahier of endless grievances

Its almost sad, having to write so much,

having to think about so much

having to confide in a simple pen and paper.

Yet, I'm not even allowed to do that.

I feel stuck.

I am trapped at the bottom of a deep hole,

surrounded by the earth's inescapable crust

I am trapped and a bird in a cage can't sing

My only ways out were cut off from me

You didn't allow those either

The glimpses of light and the ever so small shaft of fresh air that seeped through was plugged.

I only reach out to things that I wish were there

This morose feeling is hard to fathom sometimes

Sometimes it's hard to keep it in this porcelain heart of mine

If it is confined long enough, it will break

Then I shatter again

She saved me. She saved me from you.

She mended me, helped me, supported me. 

And her? She made this porcelain heart stronger than ever.

I made a sacrifice of gifting this broken heart to her and she reinforced it with her own broken one.

Him? He is an adventure. Adrenaline bursts through the seams when he speaks.

When he laughed and screamed, beautiful destruction arose and it was absolutely amazing.

Can't you see what they mean to me? 

Can't you see how much better I have lived once they had entered?

I lived. 

I breathed.

And I cannot wait to live and breathe again.