My Poetry Book: Finding Who I Am

Time Goes On

You never forget the pain of losing someone you love

All you do is get used to the idea that their gone

That gut wrenching feeling never goes away,

You just learn to live with it and then as time goes on that feeling fades and as you forget that pain you forget their face and as you forget the more you try to remember and the harder you try the harder you fall and the more leaps you take the more failure you earn because as time goes on their faces fade.

And the more they fade the more you crave for the pain

Because that pain was a reminder to what you lost

And if you can't remember the good times the least you could do was remember the bad.

Then they wouldn't disappear

When people ask about them you're blunt

Because what the use in being gentle

It's a fact no matter how you put it how you word it how you stage it

And when they say sorry for your loss you say

"I'm over it. It's been so long over ten years in fact."

But you know you're lying as that gaping hole in your chest never fills up no matter how many people you stuff in it.

And the hole never left it just got smaller and smaller until you could barely notice it

You learn to live with the pain

You learn to say it's okay

You learn the tears you shed won't bring them back and as time goes by those tears dry

And as time goes by you learn to lie

Because you have to be okay

You sit by their grave on that dreadful day which used to be the dreadful month which was the dreadful year,

And you ponder what it would be like if they were here

And you realise you can't

Because their face is but a vague memory

And their laugh is a faint whisper you can barely recall

And their smile which lit up your day isn't haunting you anymore

And it never will again

Because time passed on and the pain faded with their faces and now the only tears on their grave are the ones from the sky on that rain filled June 9 2018 which was once June 9 2006 when a young 4 year old girl went to bed with a breathing dad and woke up screaming for him to wake up.