Journal Of Gwen Stacy

Page 51; Afraid.

Journal entry #51

I will admit it..

Everyday.. usually.. I'm.. afraid..

I mean I, married to who's protecting New York. And my son is helping that person in some ways..

I never know who could end up at my doorstep. And I never know what condition or state the boys are in since they try and hide if there hurt. It just scares me that maybe.. there afraid themselves..

You know what. Maybe if I was in that coma and I died, everything would be better right now.
But then again.. I need them in my life.. and when my favourite boys are around I feel safe..

But then again I feel like I'm in the way-
But I love Pete.. physically.. you know, my perfect symbiosis..

Ever since i met him,  stuck me with those eyes, my heart's been beatin' real fast. Every time I think about him, beats faster still..
Corny, I know..

And then there's Jacob.. best son I could ever ask for,

I know they'll look after me and all that shit but.. I still get nightmares too, like the other night I woke up and Peter was downstairs getting a glass of water, I think. But at the time I had no idea where he was, I was screaming his name, shaking like hell. He sprinted up. Asking what was wrong but I just broke down..

They never go.. or stay. Sometimes they get really bad, I think I've talked about this in a entry before this but.. you get my point.

And today, I've spent it.. alone, since Jake has school and Pete with the Bugle.. also being NYCs hero's..
so yeah I was basically shittin meh pants again, watching everyone's move. I honestly donno how I'm gonna fix this.

I'm now just sat up on the couch with one of Pete's jumpers on.. see ya in a bit-?

-Gwen.
//opEn rp.
Sorry I haven't updateddddd. I've got this week n next week, then I'm on break. And I'm rlly stressed out and HH. So many blimin assignments and all that...
So I'm rlly sorry for being inactive, I'll see you soon. Hopefully. With another entry-