Journal Of Gwen Stacy

Page 54: I'll Be Good

Journal entry #54

Exactly that,
I'll try and be good, for all of the times I never could- for all the damn times I studded up,
If only I could- rewind time before.. I get blood on my hands...

Before Peter goes out there and gets his ass kicked. If I could take back.., all the fights I've ever had, with.. anyone- I would.. because now that I think about it- it was stupid..

I'm Gwen Stacy-Parker for god sakes, I'm married to Peter Parker and have the best son in the world- I just hope I'm good enough to them-

I just... sometimes- not to sound creepy, but lie awake, with Peter sound asleep next to me... his breathing makes me calm, and I think about- a lot....

Like. What if I actually died all those years ago- what would Peters life be like.. and Jakes- I.. He probably wouldn't even have a home..

I guess I have done good things.. but I have made a lot of mistakes- and.. I can fix a few. But not all..

I don't know what to say...

But you know when you feel bad for doing good.. or maybe it's just me being merciless..
I try to show mercy, but look at me.. there's no way I'd punch a mugger- I'm weak and helpless..

I just wish, I could take back all the bad things that had happened and changed it to good... or maybe I should of died. If I wasn't here, it'd be different again..

Wait, I hear something... be right back paper-

I was currently on the couch, clutching my blanket. I got a call from him saying he'd have to stop by a gang. And the fact that he was in a skintight suit, in 10 degree weather.. scared me, I heard knocking at the window.

"Peter?" I mumbled and got up, walked to the window and i saw him on the fire escape, i opens the window and helped him in, and oh boy.. his skin was like ice.

"Hey, what happened. What happened? Peter?" I asked, as he fell to the ground, with a thud and was struggling to breathe.

"Guns... gang. To. Many. Can't breathe" he said, struggling. I came to reality.

Ok, come here we need to get you to the bedroom, ok?"

He just nods, i helped him up, we started to walk, slowly, towards the bedroom. I laid him down and ran off to grab the med kit. As I came back I stood there in shock as he started to groan in pain, shaking.

I tried to calm him, stroking his hair. "Hey, hey it's ok. It's morphine." I mumble, putting it into his upper arm, (like, by the shoulder/ bicep) He eventually calmed down, but he was still struggling to breathe. So I had to work.. fast..

I took off the top half of his red and blue armour. Two bullets; left shoulder, torso.

I got the tweezers out from the kit. "You ready?"

He just nodded and closes his eyes. Man he's so cute-

I pushed the tweezers into the wound, latching onto the bullet, and pulling it out, Peter screamed, tearing his head back in pain.

"Shhh- Easy, easy.. Jacob might here you.." i then looked up at him, who was drenched in sweat, From all the pain. I'm so sorry-

I poured some disinfectant on the bullet wound, stitched it up i repeated the process with his shoulder. Once i was done, i wraps a bandage around his shoulder, since the the wound was in the worst place to be. And his torso too, just incase it started to bleed,
I then inspected him, one last time, making sure there was no more injuries, I then sighed, putting it away, walking back in, trying to be as quiet as I could since Jake was only down the hall, I moved myself up next to Pete so I was level with his head.

"Gwen?" He mumbled

I cupped his cheek. "Yeah, it's me. I'm here-"
He gulps, and whispers "Don't go..."
I shook my head, he stole my damn heart, and was in pain... I don't think I want to. "I'm not leaving you."
"I'm s-sorry."
I tilted my head, questioning him. "For what? You did nothing wrong."
"I messed up.."

I sighed, and went downstairs grabbing this damn journal, came back up and I'm sat next to Pete, who.. is droopy.. but I guess he's alright... just another day of being a.. personal doctor, I guess...

Man cliche-

-Gwen

//opEn rp.. I'm boRed-