Finding the Lost Souls (Watty 2018)

TOGETHERNESS & INSECURITIES✔

* The scene edited at last is something I always imagined on IshRa but never get a chance to write. Let me know if all of you liked it or not.

I cannot forget that she is the first girl who came in my life and I started to imagine my life with her. My each day used to start with her thoughts and days ended with her dreams. Yes it was love Ishita. It was my love for her and after knowing the truth the same dream broke into pieces leaving me hurt and broken. I started to loose my trust on the relations and this was the sole reason why I had no hopes with our marriage but I never realised when I started to expect something from this relation, I started to see you as my companion and friend. I want to begin a new life with you, in same way like a man and wife does. Only if you want Ishita.

She curled herself more on the bed while thinking about three conversation happened between them few hours back. She changed her sleeping position and looked at her husband who was sleeping peacefully holding her hand in his. He immediately slept as they laid down but sleep was far away from her eyes. The lady, Shagun was his past but yet her name bothered her again and again. Ishita Iyyer always been an insecure child since childhood, the child who often yearned to receive love in her life and when the moment had came in her life in a form of her husband, she was not ready to let it go. Maybe he was ready to start afresh with her but how can she forget that he loved her at a point of time. After spending two months of there married life and getting his all care and respect, her heart wished to get the feeling of getting loved by him. If a friend in him can treat her so kindly and gently than how would a lover in him will be?

She folded her freehand and rested her face on it continued to admiring his peaceful face. Somewhere she was glad that the air was cleared between them. He found her enough trustworthy and shared his deepest secrets with her but his feelings for Shagun left her bothered. By his words she got an idea of the intensity of his feelings for Shagun and she wondered will he be able to love her in a same way he loved Shagun? The fear gripped her heart made her restless she wished to take some fresh air but his face cocooned on her palm stopped her. She covered the remaining distance between there faces and removed the short hairs which were falling on his forehead. His handsome face looked more beautiful in the dimmed ceiling lights of the room. She freed her hand carefully not not wished to disturb his sleep and came back to balcony after wearing necessary woollens.

The snapshots were still scattered on the coffee table the way they left them few hours back. She sat on single seater sofa and started to collect the pictures one by one. Going through the pictures she had already saw, she started to arrange pictures back in the bag until her gaze fell on the picture of Raman and shagun from there engagement evening. She didn't knew how many times she had watched the picture from the day of Raman and Shagun engagement day, may be she wasn't happy but dressed in peach lehenga Shagun looked breath-taking and her husband. His happiness looked visible from his face, the way he posed resting his hand on her shoulder conveyed so many things. The smile on his face reaching through his eyes, Ishita felt like to stare his handsome face till her eyes turned heavy.

Why I'm behaving so immaturily? Why I am not able to keep his past away from our present? She buried her head in her palms upset on her behaviour. She arranged the things neatly and sat back on the sofa. What is bothering you Ishu? The truth that your husband was in love with someone else in past or the fear of loosing him due to same love? Why are you scaring to loose him if he is nothing for you more than a friend?

She closed her eyes confused with the whirlwind of emotions bothering her. They just completed two months of there marriage and already so many things had happened which is giving hard time to decide anything. Kya kar rahi hai tu Ishita? Sab kuch sach jaan lene ke baad bhi Raman par bharosa nahi kar pa rahi? Why such lack of confidence on him?